Ed, Edd n Eddy's Last Stand
by Neo H.B.B. Sam
Summary: The Ed's and the rest of the kids are now in eighth grade and they're gonna get ready for the time of their lives. This fanfiction takes place two years after the original series. I'm also taking ideas for funny things to have happen for Eddy!
1. Reunion

**Author's Note:** _Hello everyone, it is me, Neo H.B.B. Sam. As you can see, this is my latest fanfiction as of 2008. It also might be my last fanfiction. Yes, I am thinking of moving on to the real deal of writing soon. In fact, I already have my first original story planned out and I plan to write it once I'm done with this. As a result, I am going to try and have as much fun writing this as possible. So at times I might go a bit crazy with this fanfiction and it should honestly be rated M, but I'm having it rated T so that it can receive more views. But please enjoy reading this and try to get plenty of lulz out of it._

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_Chapter 1 – Reunion

In the back seat of a mini-van was a fourteen year old kid. His name was Eddward, but most people just called him Double-D (people would only call him Edd if they were writing out his name, because he had a good friend who has a similar sounding name). Edd's mom was driving him back to his house since school was going to start again in a couple of days. Edd had practically spent the whole summer at an MIT university professor's mansion (who also so happened to be his great uncle). It was enjoyable for him for the most part. He did however wonder about how well his companion's summer went by.

You see, all three of the Ed's never had any contact with each other for the entire summer. Ed was forcibly sent to summer camp along with his little sister Sarah. Eddy was all alone on the other hand and pretty much wasted his summer by sitting on his computer all the time since he couldn't even scam a toddler without some help. But hopefully he'd see them again just in time before eighth grade started for the trio.

Edd Marion Jones had changed a bit in the past two years. He still wore that hat of his and had a gap in his two front teeth. He did however now wear a purple sweater with "Massachusetts Institute of Technology" written on it, blue jeans and orange tennis shoes. In terms of personality he still amazing intelligent as ever, but is far more witty and sarcastic than before. Because of his wittiness and sarcasm, some might say that he's became slightly less of a gentleman. Also, he is now 5'9 and weighs only 125 pounds, so he's what someone might call "underweight".

"Alright Eddward, we're home now," said his mom. "I have a business meeting at Denver, Colorado coming up this week, so I'll see you in a month or so." Both of Edd's parents were businesspersons and as a result were never around all that often. This had caused his parent's divorce a year ago and was the reason why Edd lived alone for most of the year. Usually it was once a month one of his parent's came home to check up on Edd (although it wasn't uncommon for them to forget checking up on him sometimes). Whenever they were home though it was for at most two hours and most of that time was one of them writing out those sticky notes for Edd.

"Alright mother," said Edd as he grabbed both of his suitcases and got out of car. Once he entered the house, his mother had left him without even a simple hug or goodbye. It always did make him somewhat depressed of the way his parent's never paid that much attention to him. Truthfully, the main reason why Edd had enjoyed staying with his great uncle over the summer was because he actually paid some attention to him.

Inside his house, he seen dust, cobwebs, sticky notes, bugs, rust and filth everywhere since no one cleaned it at all during the summer. "I better get the job done and done right," he said as he prepared to begin cleaning up his house. It'd take somewhat longer than usual since there was more crap to clean up. But of course he'd clean his place up pretty good before going anywhere else.

About three hours later, Edd had successfully managed to clean up all the crap in his house. He put the bugs in jars (for collecting reasons), removed any rust he found on any metallic objects and thrown out the dust, cobwebs, filth, junk and outdated sticky notes. His task was completed and he now wondered if he had any time left to see Ed or Eddy.

"_It seems to be four o'clock," _Edd thought as he caught a glimpse of the grandfather clock in his living room. _"I guess that I'll go see Eddy now. I know that he's home, but I'm not so sure about Ed." _He walked out of his house and went to Eddy's place. Edd wondered if Eddy had changed at all during the summer, which he thought would happen since he believed that people changed. But of course, he also knew that change wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world, especially if it was a good change.

He knocked on the door of Eddy's house and received no answer. Edd then decided to go to the sliding glass door which so happened to lead into Eddy's room. Once there he had seen that there was some black tint in the door so that no one could see through it that well. Edd knocked on the sliding glass door and still received no answer. He decided that he had to yell in order to see if he was home.

"**EDDY, ARE YOU HOME?" **yelled Edd. For some seconds he received no answer until the sliding glass door opened. It was Eddy however, but with a crowbar to the head for Edd. He found Eddy looking over him while holding a crowbar in his hand.

"D0U8L3-D!1!1!1!1!1!1" exclaimed the fourteen year old Eddy Skipper McGee. There was a very noticeable change to him for as he now seemed to speak in what was called "l33t sp34k". He also now wore a green t-shirt with a black vertical stripe on its right side, black jeans and white skateboarding shoes. Eddy's also became the literal description of a fucktard. Seriously, if you look up the word "fucktard", you just might find a picture of Eddy right next to it. Also, Eddy has a purple colored Mohawk, is 5'4 and weighs 140 pounds, so he's very close to being "overweight". It should also be noted that Eddy's became better at some sports (mainly football, wrestling and baseball) and is now a better fighter (to get a good idea on how good of a fighter Eddy really is, let's just say that he could take down an athletic twenty-three year old Mexican hitchhiker with ease).

"Eddy, you sure do have some explaining to do," said Edd as he got back up and brushed the dirt off his sweater. "Why are you talking like that? Is Ed here? What have you done over summer vacation? And most importantly, why on earth did you hit me with a crowbar?"

"1 a time, buck0," Eddy said. "fir$+ I t4lk liek diz cuz it iz c00l. s3c0ndly, Ed iz h3r3. +hird, I h4v3 pl4y3d on my 360, b33n 0n and w4tch3d Y0uTub3 vide0s All summ3r. L4stly, I th0ught y0u w3r3 burgl4r."

"Jeez Eddy, I can barely understand a word you're saying!" exclaimed Edd. Right now, he probably wasn't the only one who was having some problems understanding what Eddy was saying.

"n0+ mah faul+ u can'+ und3r$+and m3."

"Did you hit yourself with that crowbar over the summer?" Edd asked, thinking that could be the reason why Eddy was talking like some retarded nine year old punk you'd find lurking on YouTube or just about anywhere on the internet.

"m4yb3 I d!d," he said. "wh4+ ab0u+ 1+?

"Well I was thinking that might be the reason as to why you talk like this one retarded nine year old punk I meet while playing on Xbox Live over the summer," Edd said. Normally he wouldn't say the word "retarded", but he was ticked off right now and whenever Edd was ticked off, he lost a bit of self control.

"wh4+ waz hiz us3rn4m3?" Eddy asked.

"I think it was called xXxInt3hH00d4LifexXx," Edd responded. "Why did you need to know that?"

"c00l! I h4v3z him und3r my fri3ndz lis+!" exclaimed Eddy.

"Of course, only you of all people would befriend someone like him," Edd replied. Right now he just wanted to see Ed since he was repulsed by Eddy. So he quickly changed the conversation around as he said, "How about we go see Ed right now? I haven't seen him at all for the past three months."

"sur3 +hing dawg," Eddy replied as he started running towards Ed's house with Edd fallowing him. The two got there quickly since it wasn't that far away from Eddy's house and because both of them wanted to see Ed. When they got there, Eddy opened the window and let himself and Edd into Ed's room (and basement).

Ed's room had somewhat changed over the summer. It still had filth and junk lying on the ground. But the TV in Ed's room was better and better looking, there was a 360 and PS3 connected to the TV, a computer and there was a stack of weights near Ed's bed. But for the most part it looked a lot like it did before the summer.

"playing c0ck 0f d00dy 4: m0d3rn gay fuck s+upid again?" Eddy asked. For some reason Eddy hated Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. No one was certain why exactly he hated it, but some say that Eddy is rather picky on what kind of games he wants to play. It also became apparent that Eddy was homophobic to some degree.

"But Eddy, Call of Duty 4 is a good game!" exclaimed the fifteen year old Ed as he turned around not only to see Eddy, but his friend Edd as well. Recognizing him, Ed instantly got up and ran towards Edd, giving him a bear hug. "DOUBLE-D!" he loudly exclaimed.

Ed Horace Armstrong had done a fair amount of changing over the summer. He had grown slightly smarter and stronger. Like Eddy, he was also a better fighter (good enough to take down eight nineteen year old gangsters with switchblades at the same time) and better at sports (mainly football, wrestling and baseball, just like Eddy). He now wears a navy blue t-shirt with a black skull and crossbones on it, tan colored jeans and yellow wrestling shoes. His hair style is still the same as it was when he was thirteen, except for the fact that he dyed it red. Ed's also 6'1 and 195 pounds, although he doesn't look overweight and is actually quite muscular with all the working out he's done in his life. Heck Ed even has a six pack now.

"LET GO OF ME ED, I'M SUFFOCATING!" Edd exclaimed as he was gasping for air. Ed then let go of him and dropped him on the ground. Edd got back up and brushed off anything that got on his sweater. "So Ed, how was summer camp?"

"Ah, I got kicked out a month ago," Ed replied as he walked over to his bed and sat on it. "Just couldn't take it anymore."

"What couldn't you take that made you get kicked out of summer camp?" Edd asked. He would have never guessed Ed as the type of person to get kicked out of summer camp.

"These jerks were bullying me and I just couldn't take it anymore," he said as he put his hands on his face in order to cover it. "I just had to beat them up Double-D." It was obvious that Ed felt bad for beating up those bullies, even though they deserved it.

"d0n'+ w0rry ed, it iz k," said Eddy in a attempt to make Ed feel better.

"Ed," said Edd as he sat next to Ed on his bed. "As Eddy said, it's OK now and I know that you're sorry for beating them up, though I can tell that they deserved it to some degree."

"b3sides, bea+ing up bitc3z iz c00l, h0mie G," said Eddy.

"Eddy, you shouldn't encourage Ed to beat up people all the time," Edd replied. "We don't want him ending up in juvenile hall like a certain someone here." Yes, Eddy has been to juvenile hall before. During seventh grade Eddy decided to rob a gas station and he also beat up someone who was trying to stop him. Later in the streets, a cop pulled his ass over and arrested him. The next day a judge sentenced to Eddy serve three weeks of juvenile hall.

"i no ed c4n handl3 juvie," Eddy replied. Ed could probably handle serving some time at juvenile hall. He could easily beat up the guards, dominate in fights and escape.

"Even if Ed could survive juvenile hall, it would look bad on his record," Edd said as he got off Ed's bed.

"r3c0rdz r 2 b br0k3n," he said as he pushed Edd to the ground.

With that, Ed also got off his bed and punched Eddy in the head, thus knocking him out. He also pulled up Edd off the floor of his room.

"Thank you Ed," commented Edd as he once again brushed off the filth on his sweater. "Normally I am against violence, but something just had to be done about Eddy's disgusting behavior."

"No problem Double-D," Ed said. "Want to play some Call of Duty 4?"

"Eh, why not," Edd said as he walked over to the 360 and picked up a controller. "I've heard that this game did receive good review scores and awards."

"No martyrdom, OK?"

"Sure thing Ed," Edd said as the two friends started playing the video game for the rest of the day. They would play until they couldn't play anymore, which was about at three in the mourning. Ed & Edd both crashed from exhaustion right in the middle of an online match, and they were just about to win too.

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**Author's Note:** _Well that's chapter one for you and if you liked it, than you're defiantly gonna like the next chapters. Also, I am not homophobic in real life and I think that homophobes need to show some tolerance. I'm just having Eddy act like a fucktard for the lulz and he's suppossed to represent every idiot that I've ever meet (however, Eddy is my third favorite character on the show). I should also warn you that later chapters are going to get far more "wicked" (if that's the right word to describe them)._


	2. Meeting

**Authors Note:** _Well folks, here's chapter two, which came out a lot quicker then most of my chapters do. By the way, Ed, Edd n Eddy is property of a.k.a. Cartoon and Danny Antonucci. This is just a piece of (somewhat) harmless fanfiction that I'm just writing for the lulz. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this chapter!_

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Chapter 2 – Meeting

It was about ten o' clock in the mourning when Edd woke up after crashing while playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. He looked at his watch and couldn't believe how much he slept in. He looked at Ed who was still sleeping and at Eddy who was still out cold from that punch Ed gave him yesterday. _"Oh my Lord," _Edd thought.

He got up and decided to turn off the 360 since it was on all night. Then Edd's stomach growled and he knew that meant he needed some breakfast. Edd walked out of Ed's room and into his kitchen in order to get something to eat. He grabbed a juice box, a stick of butter and a can of jelly out of the refrigerator and put some bread into a toaster. In a minute some toast popped out of the toaster, which he quickly buttered and spread jelly on his toast with a butter knife.

"_Breakfast, the most important meal of the day," _Edd thought as he took a bite out of his toast. _"I can't understand why some people actually skip breakfast. Without breakfast, I probably wouldn't be that smart."_

Edd soon got done with his breakfast and then decided that he'd check up on Ed & Eddy. But then he heard someone coming down the stairs. **"HEY!" **Sarah yelled as she came down the stairs.

It was none other than ten year old Sarah Kelly Armstrong, also known as "Ed's bitchy little sister". She wore a brown and blue hooded sweatshirt, jeans and white tennis shoes. She also had her hair in a ponytail and was still a redhead. In terms of personality, she hadn't changed all that much, although was a bit more tolerant of some things. Sarah no longer had a crush on Edd anymore since she found Jimmy to be more of her type of guy now. Also, her height is 4'6 and she weighs 82 pounds, so Sarah had normal weight.

"Double-D?" she asked in a surprised tone of voice. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Well you see Sarah, Eddy and I came to see Ed yesterday and than Ed and I ended up playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare until three in the mourning, which was when we crashed from sheer exhaustion. Then I woke up and decided to get something to eat, which I hope you don't mind," Edd responded. Edd always did have a way with words so that they'd come out good.

"At least you don't destroy the kitchen like Ed does when he's having breakfast," Sarah said and for some reason the two of them chuckled at this.

"Sarah, I think I'll go check up on Ed & Eddy now," Edd said as he walked back to Ed's room. Once there, he saw that the two of them were starting to wake up. So Edd nudged both Ed & Eddy and they both finally woke up.

"wtf h4pp3ned?" Eddy asked as he rubbed his head, which still hurt. "f33lz liek i go+ hang0v3r."

"Man, that one heck of a time we had last night Double-D," Ed said as he rubbed his eyes to get all that crust out of them.

"Gentlemen, I think that you two should get something to eat," Edd said.

"fuck br34kfas+," Eddy said. "i f33l like v0mi+ing wh3n3v3r i hav3z br34kfas+."

"Maybe that's because you never have breakfast, Eddy," Edd told him. "I bet that you'd be a better person if you just had some breakfast."

"NO U!" Eddy exclaimed in the most moronic way ever.

"I'll just have some pizza guys," Ed said as he pulled out a box of pizza underneath his couch. He opened up the box and ate a piece. "Anyone want a bite?"

"o b0y, pizza!" Eddy exclaimed as he took a piece and started chowing down on it. "yummy 4 mah +ummy."

"Ed, how long has that pizza been under your couch?" Edd asked as he folded his arms together.

"Um, I think about three weeks," Ed replied.

"3 w33kz?" Eddy said as he spit out his piece of pizza. "da+ iz sick dud3."

"I'm agreeing with Eddy on this one, Ed," Edd said. "I'd rather not eat breakfast at all then eat three week old pizza that was underneath your couch. Heck I wouldn't be surprised if you got sick from eating that garbage."

"You want me to throw it out?" Ed asked as he took another bite out of the pizza.

"That would be a good idea. In fact, let's do that right now," Edd responded as he grabbed the box of pizza and threw it out.

"Sad face," Ed said as he started to frown.

"d0 n0+ b3 sad ed," Eddy said as he gave Ed a pat on the back.

"You know, I really want to see the rest of the kids," Edd told his two friends. "You guys wouldn't mind, right?"

"0f c0urs3 n0+ d0u8l3-d," Eddy said as he got up. "l3+Z G0 NAO!"

So Ed, Edd and Eddy exited Ed's house and walked into the cul-de-sac. The only person they could see outside was Jonny, who seemed to be kicking some rocks on the sidewalk.

"**HELLO JONNY!" **Ed yelled in order to get Jonny's attention. It worked and Jonny looked at them.

"Sup," said the fourteen year old Jonathan "Jonny" Adam Wood. He still carried Plank around with him, but no longer talked to him. In fact, Jonny carried Plank around as a weapon for self-defense just encase someone was gonna jump him. He now wore a black hooded jacket with his white t-shirt underneath it, baggy dark blue jeans and urban styled tennis shoes. Jonny wasn't happy-go-lucky anymore and was meaner and somewhat pissed off most of the time, although he could still be a decent person at times. Also, Jonny is 5'10, weighs at around 165 pounds and has a four-pack. By the way, Jonny is a better fighter (good enough to take on three twenty year old jocks at the same time and win) and is better at sports (mainly football, basketball and track and field). There are also some rumors going around that Jonny might be in some gang related activity, but of course those are only rumors.

"Hey Jonny, do you know where the rest of the kids are?" Edd asked.

"Rolf's working like the farmer boy he is, Kevin's probably working out or at the skatepark, Nazz is shopping, Jimmy's not coming back from Canada until October and I have no fucking clue what them Kanker bitches are doing, but it's probably something retarded like Eddy," Jonny replied.

"STFU J0NNY!" Eddy exclaimed as he pushed Jonny to the ground.

"Wanna fight bitch boy?" Jonny said as he got up and kicked Eddy in the stomach.

"Break it up ladies," Ed said as he grabbed both of them by the collars of their shirts and held them away from each other. "No bloodshed today fellas."

"Come on big guy, let me knock this poser up," Jonny asked as he was struggling to have Ed let go of him.

"i n33dz 2 fuck h!m up h4rd," Eddy said. "i d0n'+ liek +rash +alk3rz."

"Yeah, and I don't give a fucking shit about you, ass face."

"+ha+z n0+ wh4+ ur m0m said las+ nigh+, fagg0+."

"Oh wow, that's probably the best comeback I've ever heard from you," he said sarcastically.

"dam s+raight+, nigga," Eddy said. You heard it right folks, Eddy did indeed say "nigga" to Jonny's face.

"Eddy, take back what I said or else I'm defiantly gonna whoop your white ass!" Jonny furiously exclaimed as his face started turning red with anger and hatred for Eddy. Even though Jonny said "nigga" and didn't mind it when other minority groups did, he hated it when a white person said it, especially if Eddy was the one who said it.

"nigga pleaze," Eddy responded and with that, Jonny kicked Ed in the balls so he'd release both of them. It worked and now with Ed not having a grip on them anymore, he decided that it was time to teach Eddy a thing or two. Jonny rushed towards Eddy and punched him in the face three times.

In turn, Eddy grabbed Jonny, pushed him to the ground, got on top of him and spit on him. Eddy also threw five punches before Jonny pushed him off. Eddy tried to kick him, but Jonny dodged it and smacked him in the head with Plank, knocking Eddy to the ground. Jonny powerfully stomped on his head until Eddy grabbed his leg and threw him off balance, thus making him land face first on the concrete ground.

"l00kz liek i m winning," Eddy said as he pulled Jonny back up and punched him in the face four times before kicking him in the chest.

"Cracker, I'm gonna beat your ass until it's the same shade of red as your blood," Jonny said as he wiped some blood off his head. He then went berserk and whacked Eddy with Plank so much that Eddy was actually starting to turn the same shade of red as his blood. Every whack gave Jonny more satisfaction since to him it felt good beating him up.

"wai+," he said, crowing in fear and submission. "i surr3nd3r." Jonny then let Eddy get back up, since he thought that he won the fight. But then Eddy kneed him in the balls, thus knocking Jonny to the ground. "jk, lulz." With that, Eddy got on top of him and pulled his legs back so far that they dislocated.

"Damn it punk, that wasn't even fucking fair," Jonny said. He tried to get back up, but couldn't since his legs were dislocated.

"UR FACE!" Eddy exclaimed as he gave a swift and powerful kick to Jonny's face.

"Eddy, you are despicable!" exclaimed his friend Ed, who decided that he couldn't let a racist like Eddy win this fight since it would be extremely distasteful. So Ed gave Eddy another punch to the head, knocking him out once more. Ed also relocated Jonny's legs, which actually hurt a lot more then Eddy dislocating his legs. But Jonny was thankful anyway since he could move again.

"Thanks G," Jonny said as he got back up. "Someone just had to put that Nazi back in his place."

"You are welcome," Ed replied.

"Hey Double-D," Jonny asked. "Why did you stop being a pacifist and not do anything about me and Eddy dishing it out?" It was rather odd that Edd didn't do anything to stop the two from fighting.

"I don't know what it was, but something inside just told me that I had to let you guys fight," he responded. "Deep down, I think that it was best if you taught Eddy a lesson on tolerance."

"Well, that's cool, I guess," Jonny said. "But boy, we sure had one hell of a fight." It was true, both Eddy and Jonny did have one hell of a fight. Jonny had one black eye, a broken noise, some bruises, a couple of scars, a concussion and a broken rib. Eddy on the other hand took a lot more damage, having two black eyes, lots of bruises, splinters all over his body, a good amount of scars, a concussion, a busted hip, some cuts and a wound right on his belly.

"Can you do it again?" Ed asked.

"I'd like to, but I don't think that Eddy's gonna be doing any fighting for awhile. But I can tell you where another fight is gonna happen," Jonny told him. "At eight o' clock the Muslims and the Irish are going to have a grudge brawl out in the lane tonight. You guys wanna check it out with me?"

"Hell yeah man!" Ed exclaimed as he fist bumped Jonny.

"Thanks, but no thanks Jonny," Edd politely told him. "Tomorrow's the first day eighth grade for us and I'm going try and be prepared for it this time." Edd then remembered the time when the kids stole all of his school supplies, which he wasn't going to let happen this year.

"You're still a little schoolboy, aren't you Double-D?" Jonny asked. "Man, you're gonna get your ass whooped and you ain't always gonna have someone acting as your bodyguard."

"I know that, now if you excuse me, I'm going to take Eddy back to his house," Edd said as he grabbed Eddy's arms and dragged him all the way back to his house.

"Well Ed, I'll see you tonight at the lane," Jonny said as he walked off.

"_Oh boy, this is gonna be the best rumble ever!" _Ed thought as he went back to his house to play The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion until the rumble started.

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**Author's Note:** _I hope that liked chapter two and that you're not mad at me for making Eddy say "nigga". I am not a racist in real life and I think that racism is really bad and needs to end right now. Keep in mind that Eddy is supossed to represent every moron that I've ever meet (but that he's also my third favorite character on the show). Also, I should warn you that there's gonna be more fight scenes later on, so if you like action then that's great! But if you're a pacifist who detests any kind of fighting..... well, you don't have to read the fight scenes._


	3. Ocho

**Author's Note:** _Today (December 19th, the date I uploaded this chapter) is my birthday! :) Anyway, this chapter will be introducing a couple of OC's, but I promise you that I won't overuse them and that this fanfiction won't revolve around them. You see, it always did kind of bug me on how Ed, Edd n Eddy had such an unrealistically short amount of characters (even though it is a cartoon and cartoons can be unrealistic). By the way, some people have told me that they find Eddy's speech to be somewhat difficult to read. Well, there are actually translators out there on the internet that will translate his l33t sp34k into normal English.  
_

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Chapter 3 – Ocho

Edd checked his watch for what seemed to be the billionth time today. His watch read "7: 30 AM" and he was waiting for either Ed or Eddy to show up so he could walk to school with them. Edd and the rest of the kids never rode the bus to school since they lived only about mile away from Peach Creek Jr. High (PCJH).

He checked his watch again which now said "7:31 AM". He didn't want to be late for the first day of school. _"Come on, show up already or else I'm heading out without you guys!" _Edd thought as he started nervously sweating. But Ed suddenly came running out of his house. Edd sighed in relief and wiped some of the sweat off his face.

"**HELLO DOUBLE-D!" **Ed yelled as he ran towards Edd.

"Ed, we must get to school and fast before we're late!" Edd exclaimed.

"What about Eddy?" Ed asked him.

"You see Ed, remember how Eddy and Jonny got into a fight yesterday?" Edd asked him and Ed nodded in response. "Well upon further inspection I decided to take Eddy to the hospital. Once there, the doctor told me that Eddy had a concussion. I also seen Jonny there and he told me that he too received a concussion from the fight. So after that, Eddy told me that he might stay home from school today, and for understandable reasons," Edd told him.

"I see," Ed said as the two began walking to school together. "Jonny did tell me something about a concussion last night."

"Speaking of last night, what exactly happened during that rumble?" Edd asked.

"OK, the Muslims practically owned those Irish!" Ed joyfully exclaimed. "But then Jonny heard sirens and we had to get out of there fast."

"That explains why I heard a police siren when I was reading 'The Island of Doctor Moreau' last night," Edd responded**.**

"Double-D, you should have seen Rolf and Omar!" Ed exclaimed. "They knocked out eleven Irish in less then a minute!"

"I thought that Rolf was Pagan, not Islamic," said Edd. "And who's Omar?"

"Rolf said that his cousin was a Muslim and that he was fighting for her honor," he told him. "And Omar moved here this summer."

"Ed, I want you to show me who Omar is," Edd asked.

"Okey dokey artichokey!" Ed exclaimed in quite a silly manner that made Edd giggle.

"Hey Ed, where's Sarah?" he asked.

"She left earlier this mourning Double-D," Ed confirmed.

"**FAGG0+'S, WAI+ 4 M3!" **yelled none other then Eddy himself as he was running towards his friends. He had some bandages on his body and a stitch on his left arm that he got at the doctor's yesterday.

"Eddy, I thought for sure that you'd be staying home from school today," Edd said.

"mah m0m pay3d m3 +hir+y buckz 2 g0 2 sch00l +0day," he replied as he showed off the thirty bucks he recieved from his mom.

"Wow Eddy, your mom must have really wanted you to go to school today."

"Eddy, you should have been at the brawl last night!" Ed exclaimed. "It was the shit of the century!"

"dam, i+ mus+ 0f b33n gre4+," Eddy assumed. "bu+ fucking j0nny jus+ had 2 b a dick n giv3 m3 c0ncu$$i0n."

"No offense Eddy, but you're the one who kind of started it," Edd told him. "Although if it makes you feel any better, you gave Jonny a concussion as well," he also told him.

"Ho ho, what are you Ed boy's chatting about?" asked none other than fifteen year old Rolf Muhammad Dinu as he walked up to them. He now wore a straw hat, a gray hooded sweatshirt, green jeans and brown sandals. Rolf still talks the same way he did two years ago and will still refer to himself in third person. Rolf's also gotten physically stronger over the past two years, now having a bodybuilder-like body thanks to working on his papa's ranch, lifting weights, playing sports and eating healthy food (yes, the food that Rolf eats is usually healthy, contrary to popular believe). Heck he even has an eight pack, something that makes people think he's older then he looks (along with the fact that he shaves everyday). Rolf's also started going to the dentist, so his teeth were no longer yellow and were now white. Like the Ed's and Jonny, he too has become a better fighter (strong enough to knock out a biker gang) and is better at sports (mainly football, basketball and golf). He's also friends with Ed now, is 6'2 and weighs 205 pounds, although Rolf's muscular body doesn't make him look overweight at all (in fact, he still looks tall and lean).

"y u call us h03z r0lf?" Eddy asked, thinking that when Rolf said "ho ho" that he was calling them hoes.

"Rolf was not calling you Ed boy's prostitutes," Rolf responded.

"Eddy, try not to start anything today," Edd whispered into his ear. "Remember what the doctor said about being careful yesterday."

"fuck t3h d0ct0r," Eddy said out loud. "li+3rally, cuz sh3 waz a babe."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!" Ed exclaimed randomly.

"Ed boy's, we are at the educational system now," Rolf confirmed as he depressingly walked into PCJH. The Ed's and Rolf spent so much time talking to each other that they it must of made time fly by, since it seems like they got to school in a minute, even though it was really ten minutes.

"Ready too start the semester gentlemen?" Edd asked his friends.

"fuck n0," Eddy told him. "sch00l is sup3r dup3r fucking gay n suckz a$$."

"I hope it makes me laugh," Ed said.

"School wasn't built for laughs Ed," Edd said. But just then, a bus driver inside his bus threw a pancake with boysenberry syrup on it at Eddy's face, knocking him to the ground. Instantly, a bunch of kids started laughing at Eddy while pointing at him (even Ed & Edd were laughing and pointing at him). He got back up and ate the pancake, making the kids laugh even more.

"wha+ s0 funny?" Eddy asked as he licked some of the boysenberry syrup off his face, making kids laugh so hard that they were starting to roll on the ground laughing.

"Hey douche, or should I say 'pancake' now?" said fourteen year old Kevin Vance Thorpe. He still wore that cap of his, although his attire had somewhat changed, as he now wears a light green muscle shirt with "Nike" written on it, blue jeans and a pair of red sneakers. Surprisingly, Kevin had more tolerance for the Ed's, although would still poke fun at them every now and then. Heck he was even Ed's friend now (yes, Ed is now friends with Kevin & Rolf). Like Ed though, he had a six pack, but did one hundred and fifty crunches every day in order to get an eight pack like Rolf. He also no longer called the Ed's "dorks" since he thought that was childish, but now "douches" or "douche bags" whenever they were doing something stupid. By the way, Kevin is now 5'10, weighs 160 pounds and has some muscle to go along with it. It should also be noted that he's even a better fighter (great enough to beat up eight greasers at the same time), is even better at sports since he's a jock (mainly football, basketball and track and field) and is also a bit of a skater.

"fuck u k3vin, datz n0+ funny a+ all," Eddy told him.

"Get used to being called pancake from now on, douche bag!" Kevin told him as he ran into the school.

"i m g0nna fuck h!m up h4rd 1 day," Eddy mumbled under his breath.

"Eddy," Edd said while chuckling. "I think that it'd be best if you went inside right now."

"what3v3r, sch00lb0y," Eddy said as he walked into PCJH with his friends and another kid fallowing him.

"And Double-D said school wasn't built for laughs," Ed commented.

"Oh come on now Ed, what was the chance of that happening?" Edd asked him.

"Hey Ed, thanks for cheering me and Rolf to win that fight against those damn Irish," said fourteen year old Omar Zubayr Qaisar Najid Rami Tamim Shadid (although everyone just calls Omar). He wore a black muscle shirt with a red flame on it, black jeans and brown tennis shoes. Omar also has a Mohawk like Eddy, except for the fact that his is black and not purple. In terms of personality, he is strong, likes to fight (which he is really good at), brave, decent a good amount of the time (but can be a jerk sometimes) and at times a bit quiet. Omar is also friends with Ed, Kevin and Rolf, since they were the first people he had seen when Omar moved into Peach Creek. His body type was a bit like Ed's (since he had a six pack like him) and Rolf's (since he had muscles like his). Omar's height is 6'0, weighs 187 pounds and for sports he does football, wrestling and track and field. By the way, Omar is of Arabic and Hispanic heritage (his dad's Arab and his mom's Hispanic) and as you might know by now, is a Muslim (but won't tolerate it at all when someone makes fun of his religion).

"You are very most welcome," Ed responded. "Man, you whooped them Irish!"

"Yeah, but I couldn't of done it without Rolf," he admitted. "I would've been fucked up hard if Rolf didn't throw that drunk off me. Where is the dude anyway?"

"Last time I seen Rolf he entered the school," Edd told him.

"Well that doesn't exactly narrow it down to where he is, but I'll find the man," Omar said as he started looking for Rolf, but before he left he said, "See you later Ed!"

"See ya Omar!" Ed yelled stupidly.

"_Omar seems to be a decent fellow," _Edd thought.

As the Ed's and Omar went different directions, Ed, Edd and Eddy went to go see their schedules encase they had any classes with each other. This year it seemed as if the Ed's had the same classes with each other for the most part, although they didn't have every class with each other. The trio all had the same home room class, which was study hall.

"i w0nd3r if w3z g3+ fr33 tim3 t0day," Eddy asked.

"Well since it's the first day of school Eddy, I'm guessing that we aren't going to have that much work today," Edd told him. "But we'll probably have a lot of lectures from the teachers, mostly their welcoming speeches."

"fuck man, +ha+ sh!t b3 b0ring," Eddy confirmed.

"Better then math problems Eddy," Ed also confirmed.

Suddenly, Eddy had seen a girl with a nice ass getting a drink. He couldn't tell who she was since most of her body was behind a locker. But Eddy decided to go see who she was anyway. So he ditched his friends and walked up to the girl. "nic3 a$$ baby," Eddy told her.

She took a swig of water and then turned around to see Eddy. "Um, thanks?" the fourteen year old girl said.

Her name was Paula Phoenix Phan and the most noticeable feature about her was that she had no arms. Yes, you heard me right, she has no arms (and that means no hands either). This has made her legs strong over the years. Apparently Paula was born with no arms at all and her real parents abandoned her at the hospital right after she was born. Currently she is living with her adoptive parents (who are also Vietnamese like her). Anyway, Paula wears a red tube top, white jeans and a pair of flip flops. In terms of personality, she is a good person most of the time, but is smart, can be sarcastic at times, does not care for idiots that much and confident. She'll also make jokes on the fact that she has no arms. Paula's height is 5'7, weighs 128 pounds and is a swimmer, despite of her disability.

"OMFG!" Eddy exclaimed in sheer shock. "U HAV3Z NO ARMZ!"

"Really?" she sarcastically asked. "I didn't notice so thanks for telling me."

"ur w3lc0m3, bu+ i think u sh0uld g3+ +ha+ ch3ck3d 0u+."

"Are retarded or something?" Paula asked.

"N0!" Eddy exclaimed and then realizing that he was making himself look bad to her, so he decided to (poorly) compliment her. "u l00k liek 1 0f t3h bi+ch3z in mah s3xy p0rn0z."

"You really need help, don't you?" Paula asked him as she kicked Eddy in the face and then ran off just to get the hell away from him.

"dum h0e," Eddy mumbled as he walked back to his friends, who were just comparing their schedules with each other all of this time.

"Looks like I don't have math with you this year Ed since I got put into the high math class," Edd said.

"Darn and I don't got metal shop with you or Eddy."

"h3y guyz," Eddy said, but then the bell rang and all three of the Ed's walked to their home room class: study hall. Eddy was going to tell them about his experience with Paula today, but he forgot once the bell rang and everyone started going to their first class of the day.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Sorry if the ending seemed a little bit lame, but don't you worry, chapter four is going to be full of lulz. I'll also let you know that the next chapter is going to have another fight scene. However, you'll just have to wait and find out who's going to be fighting. Anyway, I hope that you're enjoying this fanfiction and that you leave some reviews on it. _


	4. Gear

**Author's Note:** _Happy New Year! And to start off 2009, I'm posting chapter four for you guys! There's gonna be another new OC in this fanfiction, but he's one that you might find funny, but distasteful at the same time. By the way, listening to the Rise Against song "Entertainment" or the Breaking Benjamin song "So Cold" while reading the fight scene towards the end of this chapter. So please, read, enjoy and review!_

* * *

Chapter 4 – Practice

The day was already half way over for the eighth graders at PCJH. Now it was lunch and today's meal was corndogs and salad. The Ed's and many of the kids have already gotten their lunch and were going to talk and eat like most kids do at lunch. However, being the first day and all, they'd have some things to discuss.

"So gentlemen, how's your first day going so far?" Edd asked his comrades as he sat down with his food.

"all 0f t3h +3ach3rz ha+3 m3 alr3ady," Eddy responded as he took a bite out of his corndog.

"I can only wonder why," Edd told him sarcastically.

"Hey guys," Ed said. "Remember that one time when me, Jonny and you two tried to bust out of school?

"You know Ed, looking back on it all we really had to do was just run for it during lunch and we probably wouldn't have failed." Remembering the incident, it honestly would've been a lot smarter and less time consuming if the Ed's and Jonny just sneaked out of school when no one was looking. For the most part, the staff of PCJH really didn't care what happened to the students just as long as it didn't affect them.

"i+ w00d hav3z work3d if i+ w3r3n'+ 4 +ha+ dam $p3ar chuck3r," Eddy commented.

"For Christ's sake Eddy, show some tolerance!" Edd exclaimed. "What in God's name has made you act so racist Eddy?"

"w3ll +hi$ 1 dud3 fr0m t3h s0u+h in whi+3 n s3xy r0b3z t0ld m3 +ha+ i+ waz c00l 2 ac+ racis+," Eddy arrogantly said.

Edd let out a great sigh as he said, "What's happened to the Eddy that I've known three months ago?" Then Kevin came walking towards the Ed's table.

"wtf iz k3vin d0ing?" Eddy asked.

"Hey Ed, don't forget that we're getting our equipment and positions for football today," Kevin told Ed. You see, over the summer Kevin realized that Ed was truly a beast and had to potential to be great at football, with some training of course. So once Ed came back from summer camp earlier then Kevin thought he would, he decided to teach Ed how to play football. Ed set his mind to it and in a month he had the skills to play football. Kevin felt as if the Peach Creek Cobblers wouldn't be that bad this season after successfully training Ed to be good at football. So yeah, it can be said that Kevin's favorite Ed was Ed now and not Edd anymore.

"shi+ man, I 4g0+ ab0u+ f00+ball," Eddy said as he remembered that anyone wanting to play football this year would be getting their equipment and positions today. Like Ed he had also gotten better at football, but unlike Ed he did not have training from Kevin. Instead someone else he knew trained him to be decent at football.

"Eddy, try not to act like a douche and get us a twenty yard penalty for cursing at the ref," Kevin reminded him. Yes, one game when Eddy was playing football he got so pissed off at the referee that he cursed him out. The referee defiantly deserved it, but like most people he didn't like having someone cursing him out. So he gave the Cobblers a twenty yard penalty that made them loose their game against Citrus Bayou. Let's just say that Eddy received a lot of middle fingers from people that day.

"c0m3 0n k3vin, +ha+ a$$h0l3 d3z3rv3d i+," Eddy told him.

"Yeah that douche bag of a ref had it coming to him, but that doesn't mean you had to curse at him and have us loose the game," Kevin said.

"i+ waz jus+ 1 gam3 k3vin."

"A game that we could have easily won if it weren't for you, douche," Kevin reminded him as he walked away to dump his tray.

"dam s0n 0f n a$$h0l3 n33dz a w3t willy," Eddy said as he got up and spit on his own index finger. He slowly and quietly walked up behind Kevin and as he was turning around, he gave him a wet willy. While Kevin was stunned, Eddy ran like the wind out of the cafeteria.

"**GET THE FUCK BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS, DOUCHE BAG!" **Kevin yelled as ran after Eddy, who by now was probably outside already.

"Well that was entertaining," Edd said, somewhat shocked at the fact that Eddy successfully managed to give a wet willy to Kevin without getting his ass whooped.

Just then, Paula walked into the lunch room and sat down at a table with some of her friends. Ed caught sight of her and he felt something about her. It was kind of like how he felt about Nazz sometimes, only a lot stronger. Did Ed like Paula in a sexual manner? The boy soon found himself starring at Paula and was close to zoning out.

"Ed, why are you looking at Paula like that?" Edd asked him, noticing that Ed was indeed looking at Paula. Once Edd said that, Ed quickly snapped out of it and decided to reply back to Edd.

"Um, what are you talking about Double-D?" Ed asked him, hoping that Edd would believe his sad attempt of a lie.

"Don't lie Ed, I seen you looking at Paula," Edd told him. "It's because she has no arms, isn't it Ed?"

"Uh, no it isn't Double-D," Ed said, giving up with the lying.

"Then why are you starring at Paula Ed?" Edd asked his friend again.

Ed wasn't the smartest person in the world, but he could kind of tell where this conversation was going. He just had to let it out. Double-D was someone who Ed could trust, so he decided that he could tell him his feelings about Paula. "Double-D, I think I have a crush on Paula."

Edd pondered at this for awhile before he said something about it. "Paula's usually a nice girl Ed, just as long as you don't talk about the fact that she is armless," Edd said.

"How do you think I'll get her to like me Double-D?" Ed asked.

Edd really wasn't exactly an expert on women. The only girl he was even close to having a relationship with was Nazz, and Nazz only showed him affection because he was really the only guy around during some situations. Nazz was really out of the Ed's league and the only kind of guys Nazz seemed to like were popular guys, jocks, bullies (shocking, isn't it?), skaters and gangsters (once again, shocking, isn't it?). But Edd did somewhat know Paula since they both talked to each other in high math sometimes. So he had a basic idea on what kind of guy Paula would like. "Well Ed, Paula doesn't seem to tolerate stupidity that much and she does like it when someone treats her like a normal person."

Dang, Ed even knew by know that he wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the batch. He didn't act like a fucktard similar to Eddy, but would sometimes act dumb just for the heck of it. "Um, OK," Ed said. "Any other advise for me Double-D?"

"Saying hi to her might start something good Edward," Edd answered as the bell rang, indicating that lunch was over and that it was time to go to the next class. The two got up and dumped their trays into the garbage as they walked to their next class, which so happened to be Spanish.

* * *

It was now three o' clock, which meant that the first day of school was finally over. Ed & Eddy were walking to the gym to get their equipment and positions for football this year. They felt confident about themselves that they'd be beasts on the field since the two both gotten better at sports over the summer. Ed hoped that he be a lineman since Kevin told him that he'd make a good lineman. Eddy hoped for quarterback, even though he was better at playing running back than quarterback and for the fact that Kevin always got to play quarterback. But since PCJH always had a small team, Ed and Eddy knew that they'd play more then one position.

"wii r g0nna b cr3am 0f t3h cr0p +hiz s3as0n ed," Eddy told his friend as they were walking to the gym.

"Do you think that I'm a beast Eddy?" Ed asked.

"h3llz yah dawg," Eddy responded.

"Cool, because Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, Jimmy and Omar also called me a beast before," Ed said.

"fuck man, ur g0nna kill s0me ba$+ard wi+h ur skillz," Eddy said.

"Really Eddy?"

"0f c0urs3, n0w d0n'+ b a n00b ed."

Ed didn't want to kill someone since he couldn't live with the guilt. But then again, even he knew by now not to believe every single fucking word that came out of Eddy's filthy mouth. However, Ed was strong enough to kill someone with his bare hands if he tried. He also heard from Kevin that although it has happened before were someone died playing football, it's also rare and the chances of that happening aren't all that high. So Ed thought of one of his comic books to get his mind of the subject. Then in a minute, the two comrades entered the gym and took a seat on the bleachers right next to another friend of Eddy's.

"wha+ iz up +raviz?" Eddy said.

"Sup Eddy," said fifteen year old Travis Liam Winston. Travis was probably one of the raunchiest kids in school, just like Eddy McGee. He was also what you might call "trailer trash", considering that he lived in the trailer park and was complete trash. In fact, the only friend that he has is none other then Eddy. You might also say that he was a male version of a Kanker sister. Travis was also a school bully, not afraid of picking on anyone that stood in his way. Heck the kid also had quite a "colorful" record down at the station. It was a wonder as to why this kid wasn't in juvenile hall or some reform school. Anyway, Travis wore a t-shirt with a Confederate flag on it, torn up jeans, spiky wristbands and black skateboarding shoes. He also had short dark red hair, although it was nowhere near as short as Ed's. His favorite sports were football, wrestling and baseball and he was the one who trained Eddy over the summer to become good at football. By the way, Travis is 6'0 and weighs 200 pounds, with some of that being fat or muscle, is a good fighter and speaks in a Southerner accent.

"Hey guys, when do we get our equipment and positions?" Ed asked.

"Once I'm done fucking your mom on my table boy!" Travis exclaimed as he and Eddy started laughing at this. The two pieces of white trash fist bumped each other and Ed, repulsed by Travis's behavior decided to walk away from him to sit with Kevin, Rolf, Omar and Jonny.

"What did that douche bag Travis say this time?" Kevin asked.

"Something about fucking my mom on his table," Ed replied.

"That Travis punk needs to be put in his place," Omar suggested.

"Rolf agrees with Islamic Omar-boy," Rolf said.

"I see the coach coming," Jonny told them as the coach walked into the gym. The football players stopped talking to each other as they prepared to listen to what the coach had to say.

"Looks like we got eleven men again," said coach Mars, a man in his thirty's who was overweight, spoke with a Southerner accent and was coach of the Peach Creek Cobblers. "You amateurs have a lot of work to do this season, but first thing's first and that's getting your equipment."

The guys got off the bleachers as they went to go get their equipment. Coach Mars watched over the teenagers as they tried on the equipment to see if it would fit. In about twenty minutes, all of the boys got on their equipment for the season. Now all they needed was their jerseys, which coach Mars would hand out as he gave them their positions.

"_i h0p3z +ha+ i can b quar+3rback, cuz +ha+ w0uld b l33+,"_ Eddy thought.

"_I bet that coach's gonna make me captain again," _Kevin thought, seeing as how he was arguably the best player on the team.

"_Rolf wants to play the center again, yes," _Rolf thought.

"_I think that I'll see if I can get in bed with Marie tonight," _Travis thought, since he was also Marie Kanker's current boyfriend. Yes, Marie realized that Edd would never really like her, so she decided to go after someone else, and that person just so happened to be none other then Travis himself. However, Travis wanted to have sex with her, something that Marie wasn't quite ready with yet.

"_I must unleash my inner beast," _Ed thought eagerly as he started jumping up and down in excitement.

"_I better not accidentally bring Plank out on the field again," _Jonny thought, remembering the time when accidentally brought Plank onto the field once, causing the team to have a twenty yard penalty that made them loose a game. Let's just say that like Eddy, he too received the middle finger a lot that day. It also so happened to be the same day that Jonny finally realized that Plank wasn't a living being, but a mere object that needs no talking to.

"_I hope that I get to play offensive tackle and defensive end since those are my best positions," _Omar thought.

"Alright fellas, let me give you all a run down on what positions you guys will be playing this year," coach Mars said. "Kevin, you'll be quarterback, safety, kick returner and might as well be team captain again. Rolf, you'll be center, nose guard and punter. Ed, you'll be offensive tackle, defensive end and gunner. Omar, you have the same positions as Armstrong does. Eddy, you'll be running back, cornerback and punt returner. Travis, you'll be playing offensive guard, defensive tackle and long snapper. Jonny, you'll be wide receiver, linebacker and kicker."

Coach Mars went on to tell the other players their positions. Eddy was disappointed that he wouldn't be playing quarterback, even though deep down he knew that was a total impossibility. Omar was glad that he'd play his best positions and Ed literally shit his pants out of excitement. Rolf was also rather relieved that he'd be playing center this year and since Kevin's prediction came right, he too was in a good mood. Jonny & Travis honestly didn't really care what positions they played, just as long as they had fun.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Eddy exclaimed out loud since he wouldn't be playing quarterback this year.

"Pancake, did you really think that you'd even have a chance at being QB?" Kevin asked him.

"y3s i didz k3vin," Eddy responded.

"You had it coming to you douche."

"wtf fagg0+?"

"It's what you get for giving me that wet willy earlier today," Kevin told him as he walked up to the coach to get his jersey, which had the number "4" on it. Soon enough the other kids received their jerseys. Ed's jersey had the number "99" on it; Eddy's jersey had the number "25" on his, Rolf's jersey had the number "50", Jonny's had the number "82", Travis's had the number "69" on his and Omar had the number "75" on his jersey.

"You all can head out to the locker room now and put your equipment away," coach Mars told the kids as they headed out of the gym with their equipment. Now all of the guys were in the locker room putting their gear away and talking to each other.

"Beware of the beast," Ed said as he walked up to Rolf & Kevin as he put his arms over their shoulders.

"If Ed-boy can take down Rolf's bull, then he can surely take down football players, yes," Rolf said, since Ed did take down Rolf's bull once.

"Dude, I know that you'll own this year," Kevin told him.

Meanwhile near Eddy's gym locked, he and Travis were talking to each other about how Eddy didn't make quarterback this year.

"It's not the end of the world if you didn't make quarterback kid," Travis told Eddy.

"bu+ i +h0ugh+ i w0uld b qb diz y3ar," Eddy said as he sniffed in sadness.

Although Travis was a bully and seemed to act like it all of the time, Eddy was also the only real friend he had and vice versa. He didn't want to see him act so depressing about not making QB. So Travis decided to go over to Kevin and have a little fun with him.

"Hey bitch boy, come over here and fight me like a man," Travis taunted.

Kevin turned around as he said, "Dude, I'm not in the mood to fight, so go fuck your VCR or something like that."

Travis then charged at Kevin as he punched him in the head, knocking him down to the floor. He got on top of the jock as he spit on his face. Kevin didn't like that one bit, so he kicked Travis off him and landed four hard hitting punches on the redneck. By now a circle of people surrounded the two as they chanted the fighting going on in front of them.

"Think you're a tough piece of shit, huh douche?" Kevin mockingly asked as he jumped in the air and kneed Travis in the head.

"I'm defiantly a tough piece of shit when I'm in bed with your mom asshole!" Travis exclaimed as he grabbed Kevin's wrists as he shoved him down to the motherfucking ground. He then grabbed Kevin by the legs and spun him around and around until Travis had enough strength to throw him against the wall, which he did with a lot of power. Kevin soon got back up and realized that he'd have to give it his all if he wanted to win this fight.

With all his might Kevin rushed at Travis with incredible speed and slammed him into the lockers. He grabbed his racist head and smashed it against the lockers. With every drop of blood that came out of Travis's head, Kevin felt more powerful and dominant. He didn't even care if he killed Travis right now since it'd actually be a good deed if someone slain that bully. But then coach Mars came into the locker room and seen what was going on. The other kids scattered and Kevin stopped bashing Travis's head.

"I don't ever want to see any of that shit from any of you boys again," coach Mars said. "Kevin, do that again and you're no longer team captain."

"Travis started it!" Kevin exclaimed in his defense.

"I know, which is why practice is going to be real fun for him tomorrow," coach Mars told him.

"How'd you known I started it coach?" Travis asked as he spat out some blood from his mouth.

"Because you just told me dipshit," coach Mars said as he walked of the locker room. The other kids then put their remaining equipment away and walked out of the locker room. Then Kevin, realizing he could do no more decided to just walk away. Travis however was still in the locker room all alone and wiping the blood off his face off with a rag.

"Eddy owes me big time for this," Travis mumbled as he brushed off the remaining blood on his head. He wondered if he had a concussion right now, which would be bad, but he'd probably never know if he had one or not. It'd cost him a fortune just to get a simple check up (yes, Travis's family is that poor).

Once Travis was done with getting the blood off his body, he too decided to walk out of the locker room, thinking to himself on what he was gonna do tomorrow.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Well that was chapter four for you and I hoped that you liked it. I created the character Travis so that Eddy would have at least one good ally on his side for this fanfiction. By the way, here's a head's up for you. The next chapter is probably going to be one of th most settled down and least violent chapters for the whole fanfiction. Also, I wouldn't mind if you left me a review on my fanfiction on what you think about it._


	5. Animals

**Authors Note:** _Sorry to keep you waiting for a month, but here's chapter five! I probably won't have chapter six up until somewhere around March (though it might be around the end of February if I have enough time on my hands). You see, I've been having a lot more schoolwork then usual lately and that's taking up quite a good amount of my time. Also, I think that I should of stated this in chapter one, but Eddy sounds like Microsoft Sam, a text-to-speech computer program that most computers have in this story (if your computer doesn't have Microsoft Sam on it, then search for it on the internet). So yeah, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter_.

* * *

Chapter – 5

It had been a week since school had started, Ed revealing his feelings for Paula and Kevin & Travis getting into a fight. Currently Edd was in his room doing some homework and studying for a test on the Roman Empire in history class. Ed was playing some basketball at Kevin's house with Kevin, Rolf and Omar. Edd had heard someone at school saying that Jonny was going downtown in an ally tonight for something. Edd thought that it could possibly be illegal, but he wasn't going to think about that right now. Eddy & Travis were having an airsoft war in the trailer park and both of those morons probably shot each other in the eyes by now.

As Edd wrote down some answers on his homework, the lead on his pencil broke off. He didn't have any other pencils in his room and the pencil sharpener was downstairs. So Edd got off the desk in his room and walked to the kitchen where the pencil sharpener was resting on a countertop. After sharpening his pencil, he grabbed some more pencils from a drawer and then noticed that he was a bit famished. Truthfully Edd forgot to eat dinner today since he was so busy with his homework and studying. So he opened his fridge and grabbed himself some grapes. Knowing that eating while studying and doing his homework might possibly distract him, Edd decided to go into the living room and eat his grapes there.

Now in the living room, Edd sat down on a couch and ate some grapes. He then remembered how Jonny told him that there wouldn't always be someone protecting him. That was true since Edd had been jumped twice already since school started. Once it was by Eddy who was trying to impress Travis somehow (like nearly everyone in Peach Creek he wasn't too particularly fond of Travis). The other time it was by some metal head that jumped him because Edd is against metal music (Edd never really liked metal since to him it was "vile" for the mind).

Edd then wondered about the other kids. This new Omar kid didn't really care for him, but at least he didn't act like a dickhead towards him like some other people did. Kevin had actually matured a bit so he wasn't that bad anymore. Rolf still didn't make that much sense to Edd and probably never would. He had a feeling that Ed was growing more independent and Edd thought that the man could look out for himself now. Jonny worried Edd because ever since he got back from his great uncle's mansion, Jonny seemed to be a lot more troubled. Jonny was a good kid, but right now it seemed like he was going down the wrong path of life. Eddy was starting to become a bag fat disappointment to the world. Edd wondered if it was Travis who convinced Eddy to act like such a scumbag. Sometimes he wished that Travis just disappeared because Travis might have been the reason why the Ed's haven't been that close lately. Three months ago the Ed's were close friends but since school started again and Travis moving into Peach Creek, things have been different lately.

Teenagers were acting a lot more violent than usual. Honestly, there were at least four fights a day at school, a rumble per week and Edd predicted that there would be a murder this month. Sarah honestly acted rather peaceful when compared to the other kids of Peach Creek right now. More gangs have been forming since the summer, which Edd thought was ridiculous. Oh sure there were always a handful of gangs in town, but now it was like there were a fucking truckload of gangs. This wasn't the same place Edd lived at anymore.

Hell Edd couldn't see bright futures for most of the kids in Peach Creek. If they stayed in town for the rest of their lives then they might as well live in the trailer park. Any dumbass could tell that anyone here who had a good job didn't come from Peach Creek. Oh Lord, Edd had a basic idea on what jobs he could see some people having in the next twenty years. Ed would be a sanitation worker or lifting crates around a warehouse. Eddy would be a car salesman, fixing motorcycles, in prison for armed robbery or dead. Kevin would be in the military, an auto mechanic or owning a sport shop (Kevin was good at sports, but was nowhere near being professional material). Rolf would be back in his home country as a rancher or in its military. Jonny would be a member of some sort of organization or dead (this downward spiral of Jonny's didn't exactly give him much of a good life). Omar would be in the military, a bouncer or some security guard. Travis barely had a future and if the man lived past his twenties the he would be working at Burger King, in prison for something really bad or dead. Of course Edd could be wrong about their futures, but only time will tell.

He looked at his grandfather clock and saw that it was close to being eight. Edd knew that he should get back to work and fast before he got too distracted. He ran to his kitchen and put the remaining grapes back in his fridge and then ran back to his room. In his room he was panting with exhaustion (Edd was underweight and thus in bad shape). He sat down back on his desk and continued doing his homework and studying.

* * *

Meanwhile in the cul-de-sac (in front of Kevin's garage to be accurate), Kevin, Rolf, Omar and Ed were playing some two-on-two games of basketball. Kevin had trained Ed to not pop the basketball with his mouth and now he was decent at the game. Omar and Rolf were on a team while Kevin & Ed were on the other team. They played yet another five minute game before taking a break. The four of them then went inside Kevin's house for some Gatorade.

"That Gatorade is the shit!" Ed exclaimed as he chucked his Gatorade in less than five seconds.

"Rolf has heard the Gatorade was made in Florida, yes?" Rolf asked.

"Yeah, this stuff comes from Florida and was actually invented by this one professor named Robert Cade," Kevin replied, now going to start a story about the history of Gatorade. "Then Ray Graves was frustrated with the performance of his players during the hot summer football practice, so he asked Cade to make him Gatorade. It was thanks to Gatorade that the Gators won their first Orange Bowl over the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Hell the Yellow Jacket's coach Bud Carson said that they lost because they didn't have Gatorade."

"You sure do know anything even close to sports man," Omar pointed out.

"So was Gatorade like their steroids?" Ed asked.

"I don't think that Gatorade should be compared to taking drugs before a game since that stuff doesn't have any drugs in it," Kevin answered.

"Hey Ed, remember how you sacked Blueberry Rill's quarterback?" Omar asked, getting off the subject. Anyway, the football team already had its first game of the season last Thursday, which they surprisingly won. Kevin, Jonny and even Eddy scored at least one touchdown during that game. Hell Peach Creek won by 35-7. Some say that they won because Ed & Eddy were trained over the summer. Others say that it's because Blueberry Rill only has eleven players on its team, just like Peach Creek. But whatever the reason was, it didn't matter to them just as long as they won.

"Kevin did tell me to break a leg," Ed responded. Apparently, Ed thought that Kevin had literally told him to break their quarterback's legs instead of just telling Ed to have good luck. Then once on the ref called the play, Ed tackled Blueberry Rill's quarterback so hard that he broke his legs.

"Didn't know you'd take it so literal big guy," Kevin told him.

"Rolf was impressed with you Ed-boy," Rolf commented as he gave Ed a pat on the back.

"Man, I can't believe McGee scored that touchdown," Omar said. "I heard that he usually sits around and does nothing, but I guess this was different."

"Last year he was nominated as the most worthless player in the tri-county area," Kevin replied. "But of course he couldn't even win that award. Anyway, I heard some rumors about that one Travis douche training Eddy over the summer, just like how I trained Ed over here to be a beast."

"And he trained me well!" Ed exclaimed. "Oh, and remember how Jonny fucking flew over that guard?"

"That's what I call a real black-man hop," Kevin said. "Shit man, once basketball comes around he'll be scoring slam dunks all the time."

"Jonny-boy has been acting different lately, yes fellows?" Rolf asked. Even he was starting to notice Jonny's change in character.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too Rolf," Kevin told him. "I just hope that he doesn't land himself in juvie like Eddy did."

"What'd that asshole do to get in juvenile hall?" Omar asked, not knowing how Eddy gotten himself behind bars before.

"I don't know much about it, but I heard that he robbed a gas station and then fucked up someone trying to stop him. Then this policewoman pulled him over and knowing Eddy you can tell he liked that."

"His favorite part was when she pinned him down," Ed said, since Eddy told him about this predicament last year. "I know, he told me."

"Why is Rolf not surprised?" Rolf asked himself.

"I bet you guys ten bucks that McGee thought she was gonna have sex with him," Omar commented, which made all four of them start laughing since they could so picture that happening.

"That douche bag might have asked her how much it was," Kevin said as he fell on the floor out of laughter.

"He did Kevin!" Ed exclaimed since Eddy did in fact tell Ed about this. Before summer came along, it was safe to say that Eddy told Ed a lot of things, some of which are to never be repeated.

Rolf was rolling on the floor while laughing because of this (or "ROFL" as Eddy would say). He even coughed up a bit so that he could get some air in so he wouldn't die of laughter. "No wonder nincompoop McGee got three weeks."

"It was probably three weeks of dropping the soap next to some gangsters!" Omar exclaimed as he was nearly suffocating of laughter while expecting Ed to tell him if this was true or false.

"Eddy turned redder then our gym lockers when I asked him that!" Ed exclaimed. By now the four football players had to force themselves from not laughing anymore just encase they would die of laughter. Even when they got up you could still hear them chuckling about Eddy's time with the law.

"Alright, that's enough talking about Eddy for one night," Kevin told his friends as he chuckled a bit.

Omar looked at a clock in Kevin's kitchen which said that it was close to being eight thirty. "Oh shit guys, I gotta go before my parents know that I'm out after my curfew," he said as he ran out Kevin's house.

"Goodbye Omar!" Ed exclaimed while waving in the air, despite that Omar had already left.

Rolf also looked at the clock and sure enough he too had to leave. "Ah Kevin-boy, Rolf shall see you tomorrow at school, for as Rolf must sheer the sheep."

"Oh God, that's gonna keep the cul-de-sac up all night," Kevin commented. "Last time you sheered your sheep man I swear, I could hear it all the way from the candy store."

"Can I come too Rolf?" Ed asked because he really just wanted to go see Rolf's chickens since he could care less about sheering sheep.

"You may Ed-boy, but only if you help Rolf sheer the sheep," Rolf told him.

"Oh alright Rolf," Ed said as he and Rolf walked out of Kevin's house. Kevin then took a look at the clock and seen that he only had an hour left to stay up before his parents came home. His dad was doing overtime at the jawbreaker factory and his mom was at some party at the downtown part of Peach Creek. Kevin decided that he'd finish up on his homework and then fix up his bike before nine thirty. So the boy went into his garage and started getting to work.

* * *

In a dark ally at the downtown part of Peach Creek, Jonny was walking around while carrying Plank (only as a weapon and not as a buddy). At the end of this black ally he came across a weapons dealer who was having a special on submachine guns. He was growing tired of having only a piece of wood as his weapon. He needed something better because since summer Peach Creek's been getting rather violent. It's almost to a point that the local police department was turning corrupt and failing to stop any crime. Jonny knew that it was only a matter of time before some gang was going to jump the living shit out of him for no reason. In fact, he himself was planning on joining some gang in town for protection. Cribs, Bloods, it didn't matter to him just as long as this gang suited his needs.

The weapons dealer then looked up and seen Jonny coming along. Two bodyguards came out from the darkness holding M16 rifles just encase of an attack. "I heard you're having a deal on submachine guns," Jonny said.

"Yup kid," the weapons dealer said. "I'll let you have a P90 for only three hundred bucks."

"_Crap, I only came with two hundred," _Jonny thought, but wasn't going to tell the weapons dealer that just encase he'd rip him off like Eddy would. "Yeah, uh, I was looking for something else."

"Well I do have this Uzi laying around for only two hundred bucks," he told Jonny. "But you're gonna have to buy the ammo separately." This deal was good enough for Jonny and besides, even pointing the thing unloaded would scare someone. He handed the weapons dealer his two hundred dollars and in return he got his very own Uzi.

"Now I bet you're gonna want some ammo, right?" the weapons dealer asked in a cold tone of voice.

"I already have some ammo at my place," Jonny lied as he stashed his Uzi in his jacket so no one would see it. He then walked away from the weapons dealer and the dealer's two bodyguards vanished into the dark mist of the black ally. _"Now that I got a good gun, I just might be able to bring some good to this fucking piece of shit town," _he thought. In truth there were some people Jonny set his mind on taking care of. Who knows, it just might make Peach Creek like it was back in the good ol' days. You know, just crazy, fun and random, not violent, scary and so damn serious.

* * *

In the trailer park, Travis was hiding behind his trailer while holding an airsoft version of the SG 550. Eddy on the other hand was holding dual airsoft P226's. Both of them weren't wearing any goggles and were just in their normal clothing since they didn't want to look like pussies (even though it's really recommended that you wear goggles during an airsoft war). _"McGee's gonna pop out at any moment, I just know it," _Travis thought as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"h3r3 c0mez teh b00gayman!1!111!!1!1" Eddy exclaimed as he started firing. Travis then pointed his SG 550 at him and shot Eddy in the stomach. Eddy took the pain like a man and then shot Travis in the head a couple of times. Then they instantly rushed at each other while firing their weaponry at rapid speeds. But of course they both shot each other in the eyes, thus causing them to collapse onto the cold dirty ground of the trailer park.

"Fuck man, that hurts like hell!" Travis exclaimed while covering his eyes.

"c0cksuck3r, thiiz cun+ game 0f airs0f+ hur+z wi+h0out t3h g00gles," Eddy commented while also covering up his eyes.

"Ah don't be a bitch Eddy, goggles are for pussies like Double-D and you know it," Travis said, even though in truth he wanted to wear goggles and would actually wear them in an airsoft war if they didn't make him look weak.

"dam rite s0n!" Eddy exclaimed as he and Travis fist bumped each other.

"But look, I'm bored of this shit," Travis said. "I'm going inside."

Travis got up, walked into his trailer and shut the door. Eddy did the same since he had nothing better to do. Inside Travis's trailer looked messy and wasn't exactly the place that you'd want to live in. The trailer had stained carpets, mushrooms growing out of the ground, bugs crawling all over, a handful of dead cats in the middle of the living room (they weren't Travis's cats but some strays he found out on his front doorstep), broken stuff laying around, food scattered everywhere and the place smelt worse than flaming dog shit. Hell Ed's room was three times cleaner then Travis's trailer. But anyway, Eddy saw Travis laying on his couch while watching some South Park on his black and white TV. He walked up to his friend and sat on the couch with him.

"n0w wha+ w3 d0 traviz?" Eddy asked.

"I don't fucking know Eddy," Travis responded.

So the two douche bags watched South Park for awhile until Eddy got an idea on what to do. "h3y traviz," Eddy said, getting his attention. "l3+z mezz ar0und wi+h t3h kank3r bi+chez."

"Well I haven't really seen Marie all day, so what the hell," Travis told him as he got his fat ass of his couch. The two boys then exited the hellhole of a trailer and started walking towards the Kanker's trailer. Once there, Travis noticed that the door was locked. "What the fuck? Marie and her sisters never keep their door locked."

"mayb3 th3y 0n t3h rag traviz," Eddy suggested.

"Eddy, they'd just lock their bathroom door if that was the case, retard."

"w3ll fuck u, i m g0nna tak3 a peak," Eddy told him as he walked towards a window of the Kanker sisters trailer. He jumped to get a look, but sadly Eddy was still to short too see anything inside. "um, a li++le h3lp h3r3 traviz?"

"Oh alright, but tell me what you see going on in there," Travis said as he walked over to Eddy and put him over his shoulders so Eddy could get a better look. Now being able to see inside the trailer, Eddy saw May cooking something over a stove and Lee sleeping on her couch. "Well, what's going on McGee?"

"marie iz s+ripin," Eddy lied. Instantly Travis threw Eddy off him and then looked inside to see this. But of course, Eddy was not telling the truth and Marie was nowhere to be seen inside her trailer.

"What the hell Eddy?" Travis asked as he kicked Eddy in the gut. "Don't you ever fucking lie to me like that again!"

"s0rry, mah bad man," Eddy replied.

Travis sighed. "You know, let's just try knocking on the door." The two friends walked towards the door of the Kanker's trailer and knocked on it. May then opened it up for them.

"Marie's in our room doing homework," said the fourteen year old May Ashley Kanker. Her buck teeth were now gone since she lost them in a fight with her sisters over the summer. As a result May no longer sounded like a complete pig. Her appearance on the other hand was a bit more pig-like; since she was now overweight (she's 5'6 and weighs 160 pounds). May's new attire is that of a red t-shirt, gray sweatpants and flip-flops. She's also gotten her hair shorter so that it's only up to her shoulders and not down to her waist (it's also in the style of a ponytail). In terms of personality May's somewhat smarter and more assertive, though she can still act like a dumb blond at times.

"Thanks May," Travis said as he walked inside. But when Eddy tried to fallow him in, May pushed him to the ground.

"wtf h0e?" Eddy asked in a surprised tone of voice.

"I thought you knew that we didn't like you that much anymore Eddy," May told him. Yes, it was true. Eddy was such a fucktard that he had gotten the Kanker sisters to hate him. You see, over the summer Eddy got desperate for girls and asked the Kanker sisters if they wanted to have sex with him. Now you'd think they'd say yes to this, but they didn't. Lee, Marie and May had realized just how big of a douche bag Eddy truly was and with that they told him to fuck off. However, Eddy thought that by "fuck off" the Kankers had agreed to have sex with him. He then pounced at Lee and pretty much attempted to rape her. Marie and May pulled Eddy off just in time, tied him up with some chains (which he thought was sexy, but this only made them madder) and then the three sisters tossed him in the creek where he'd float all the way down to Citrus Bayou (a town that's southeast of Peach Creek). It took the guy four days to travel back home. By the way, the Kanker's have also lost interest in Ed & Edd. They didn't care for Ed anymore since he dumped sewage all over their trailer (Eddy told him to). They stopped showing interest in Edd on the other hand because he had gotten less cute, which was the only reason why they liked him in the first place.

"w3ll t0ugh +i+z, i mz cummn in," Eddy responded as he got back up, only to be punched in the face by May, knocking him to the ground again. May then locked the door so Eddy couldn't come in. "m0+h3rfuk3r, n0wz i mu$t find m3 an0+h3r way in."

He walked over to Travis's house and got himself a pickaxe for breaking in, a handful of dynamite (yes, Travis had some dynamite since he found tons of it laying around at an abandoned mine), some small fireworks and his dual P226's just encase he needed them for protection. Now just what was Eddy going to do with the dynamite and fireworks? Why put them in the Kanker sister's microwave of course for hilarious effects. Eddy soon returned to the trailer, but this time going in from the back. He knew that the Kanker's didn't have a backdoor to enter in, so using a pickaxe would make his own backdoor to enter the trailer in. After making a big enough hole in the trailer with some hits from the pickaxe, he quickly threw it on the ground and proceeded to break in.

Now inside, Eddy decided to act stealthy in order to not get caught by Travis, May, Lee or Marie. Hiding behind a garbage can, he had seen Lee still sleeping on the couch and that May was looking out of a window, probably to see if he was around_. "wha+ an s+upid h03," _Eddy thought as he walked towards the microwave. He looked around a bit before opening it, but when he did May turned around. Eddy hastily ducked so she didn't see him, which worked and had May turning back towards looking out of the window.

"_diz junky4rd iz g0inn $+r4!gh+ 2 h3ll,"_ Eddy thought as he crammed all of the dynamite and fireworks into the microwave. After closing the door, he set the time on the microwave to ninety nine minutes and ninety nine seconds, the maximum number most microwaves would allow. Now he would get their attention in one of the most brainless ways ever.

"**LO0LLO0LOL0OLO0L0OL0OLOLLOLO0O0LOL0O0LO0LOL0LLOL!1!1!!11!1!1" **Eddy yelled while firing his airsoft P226's very insanely. The dynamite and fireworks were already going off by now and the microwave's door was already blown off form the explosions. Immediately this gained not only May's attention, but Lee's (who woke up from the noise), Marie's and Travis's (who were running down the stairs to see what the big commotion was).

Lee looked around after getting up. She noticed how there was a good sized hole near the kitchen wall. "Hey, who the hell made that big of a fucking hole in the damn wall!" asked fifteen year old Lisa "Lee" Britney Kanker. She still resembled herself from two years and was even the same height and weight. But she now wears a brown t-shirt with a blue denim jacket over it, white jeans and a pair of platform shoes to make her look taller. Really, her attire was the only noticeable thing that changed about her (though in terms of personality Lee's just meaner than she used to be). But Lee does however not care to much for the Ed's anymore, sleeps a lot more than usual since she got a job at a gas station and isn't at home as much anymore.

"Damn it Eddy!" exclaimed Travis who now had a hickey on his neck from spending time with Marie.

"Can't that little shit head grow up for once?" asked the fourteen year old Marie Jane Kanker. Like Travis she had a hickey on her neck, although like all hickeys it would only last for twelve days at most. Marie had grown her hair out more so that it was shoulder-length and it was dyed green. She also now wore a shirt with black & white horizontal stripes, tight black jeans and a pair of purple sneaker boots. Marie was also 5'7 and weighed 140 pounds. In terms of personality she was somewhat of a nicer person (though can be mean if agitated), smarter, more cunning and like her sisters, Marie no longer has any romantic feelings for the Ed's (especially now that she's going out with Travis).

"u fuckfacez n33d a sense 0f hum0r!" Eddy exclaimed as he pushed May aside and then ran out of the trailer while still shooting mindlessly into the air like a madman.

"**THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMOR AND DUMB SHIT!" **Lee yelled angrily.

"**PEOPLE LIKE YOU DESERVE TO BE DRAGGED ONTO THE STREETS AND SHOT!" **Marie yelled angrily, although she really didn't mean it and was just tremendously pissed off at Eddy right now.

"**I'M GONNA FUCKING CALL THE COPS ON YOU EDDY!" **May yelled angrily as she rushed to the phone in her living room.

"Settle down girls," Travis told them. "Let me get a shot at this punk." He pulled out a baseball from his pocket and threw it at Eddy, hitting him in the back of the head and knocking him out.

"Thanks!" Marie exclaimed as she gave Travis a kiss on the cheek.

"No problem babe," Travis responded. "But if you don't mind, I'll be going home. My little brothers and sisters might of destroyed something by now."

"Are you gonna be at school tomorrow?" she asked him.

"Sorry, but I have business downtown tomorrow that's kind of important," he told her. By "business", he meant that he was going to rob a house, have sex with a prostitute and jump someone, but Marie didn't know that thankfully. Whenever Marie was told that Travis had business to attend at downtown, she just thought that it was something like work, which was why Lee sometimes didn't go to school.

"You know if you skip to much school, the truancy officers will be on your ass," Marie reminded him.

"I can handle some fat pigs who want to bust me in," Travis said as the two kissed each other before going home for the night. A lot had happened for the cul-de-sac kids during this hour. Edd had thought about what was recently going on. Ed, Omar, Rolf and Kevin played some basketball and then chatted with each other about Eddy's attics. Jonny bought himself an Uzi from a local weapons dealer. Then Eddy & Travis had an airsoft war, watched some South Park and then went to the Kanker sister's trailer for some fun. This was only the beginning of what was to come.

* * *

**Authors Note:** _Well that's chapter five for you and if you liked it, then please leave me a review stating your opinions on my fanfiction. Constructive critisim telling me on what I could improve would be greatly_ _accepted_._ And expect chapter six to come out sometime around the end of February or the begining of March!_


	6. Rumble Fish

**Author's Note:** _Well here's chapter six for you guys and gals out there. Don't really have much to say about this one except for the fact that those faint of heart should not read this chapter. So yeah, read and enjoy._

* * *

Chapter – 6

Today was a Saturday afternoon in Peach Creek. It had been five days since Jonny bought his first gun, Eddy getting knocked out by having Travis throw a baseball at him, Edd thinking about recent events at Peach Creek and Kevin, Rolf, Omar and Ed playing some basketball and talking about Eddy's hilarious time with the law. Right now Kevin was eating a roast beef sandwich while thinking about two main events that happened on Thursday. The first event was the Peach Creek Cobbler's game against Citrus Bayou, which they lost by 14-35. He'd like to blame Eddy, but Kevin knew that the real reason why they lost was because he was distracted with something that happened earlier that day. That would be the second event, which was Kevin getting challenged to a fight by a ruthless gang of Neo Nazis.

It all began when Kevin when was just walking to the bathroom…

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Since this is a flashback, everything will be in italics._

_Kevin was just walking to the bathroom at school while psyched up about tonight's game. He knew though that Citrus Bayou's football team was mostly made up of huge Hispanic kids that were pretty damn strong (some of those kids were an even match for guys like Rolf, Ed and Omar). Citrus Bayou also had twenty-two players on their team, compared to Peach Creek which only had eleven players, so winning this game would mean that Kevin and the rest of the team would have to give it their all to win._

_Just as he got to the bathroom, he had seen three people walk out of it. They were members of a local gang of Neo Nazis. Now they didn't look like skinheads, but all of them wore peaked caps or leather flying helmets, brown shirts with green bomber jackets over them, blue jeans, black boots and an iron cross around their necks. The leader though had a belt with a red swastika on it, signifying leadership of his gang._

_Kevin didn't want to cause any trouble with them since they outnumbered him and were apart of one of Peach Creek's many gangs. So he continued walking into the bathroom, but he was grabbed and thrown to the ground by one of the Neo Nazis._

"_What the hell douche bags?" Kevin asked the Neo Nazis as he got up. Since they outnumbered him by three to one, he obviously wasn't going to fight back since that probably wouldn't end to well in his favor._

"_We heard you like niggers," one of the Neo Nazis said._

"_And we heard about you being friends with a Muslim, a retard and some foreign kid whose grandpa fought against us during World War Two."_

"_Why the fuck do you guys care?" Kevin asked in a pissed off tone of voice._

"_Let's not forget about those moves you're making on fine Nordic chick with the light blond hair, light blue eyes and most importantly, light white skin," the leader told Kevin as he pushed him against a wall. These people wanted to make Kevin barf out of disgust, since they were not only Neo Nazis, but people who reminded him of Eddy & Travis. _

"_Look guys, I just want to take a piss, so piss off you douche bags," Kevin told them as he walked to the stalls. But the Neo Nazis just grabbed Kevin again and slammed up against the bathroom wall. The leader pulled a knife out on him while the other two Neo Nazis held guns to his head._

"_Alright, listen up good motherfucker," the leader said as he put his knife right on Kevin's neck. "You and your friends are gonna have a brawl with me and my boys at the junkyard this Saturday at one o' clock. But if you and your friends don't show up or lose, whichever one comes first, then expect a bullet to go straight through that big ass chin of yours by Sunday." After those words were said, the Neo Nazis backed off and walked out of the bathroom._

"_So these assholes think they can boss a man around like that?" Kevin asked himself. "Those are the same kind of douche bags who deserve to rot in hell." He then took his much needed piss and then walked out of the bathroom. _

_Later during the game, Kevin had the Neo Nazis on his mind so much that he couldn't focus at all. He didn't even score a touchdown, while Eddy & Jonny did. Heck after the game coach Mars chewed him out big time and threatened to make Travis captain if he didn't get his act straighten out. Not wanting Travis to be captain of the football team, Kevin decided that he'd get Rolf, Ed and Omar to help him kick some Neo Nazi ass._

_

* * *

_Kevin then took a look at the clock and it told him that it was noon. He had an hour to get to the junkyard before he, Rolf, Ed and Omar got in a rumble with the Neo Nazis. So he quickly ate his roast beef sandwich and then went into the living room where his mom was dusting the glass table.

"Hey mom, I'm gonna go hang out with my friends for a couple of hours," Kevin told her as he started heading towards the door.

"Not until you clean out the litter box!" Kevin's mom exclaimed as she handed him a garbage bag and poop scooper.

"Oh alright mom," he replied as he went back to the kitchen and started cleaning the litter box. Normally it took him around five minutes to get the job done, but this time it only took Kevin two and a half minutes since he was in a rush. After putting all the cat shit in a garbage bag, he returned to the living room and headed out. Then once Kevin was outside, he saw Eddy smoking some pot right on his front lawn.

"i l0v3 diz $+uff," Eddy said out loud as he smoked the marijuana from his bong. First Eddy starts talking like a retarded nine year old from Xbox Live and now he's decided to do grass? Who knows what this kid was going to do next.

"Okay, just what the hell do you think you're doing douche?" Kevin asked Eddy.

"g3++3n h!gh 0ff diz shi+ m0n!1!11!1!!1" Eddy exclaimed. "wan+ s0me dawg?"

"No, now get the fuck off my lawn before I have to kick your ass," Kevin firmly told Eddy since he wasn't really in the mood to deal with this bullshit.

"sux mah c0ck cuz ur a gay li++l3 fagg0+," Eddy said as he went back to smoking his weed. Angered, Kevin threw the bag of kitty crap at Eddy and it hit that douche in the face, knocking him down. Once he got back up, Eddy ran to the trailer park, probably to tell Travis about this.

"God, I hate that kid," Kevin said to himself as he walked to Rolf's house. There he knocked on the door and Rolf came out.

"Hello there Kevin," Rolf said.

"Listen man, I need you to come with me to the junkyard with Ed and Omar," Kevin told him.

"What is the reason for this?" Rolf asked.

"Look, I'll tell you on the way there," Kevin replied as he and Rolf started walking to Ed's house. When they got there, Kevin opened the window and let himself and Rolf into Ed's room (which could also count as a basement).

"Seriously Ed, you should really clean this place up sometime," Kevin told him since Ed's room was still disgustingly messy.

Ed, who was playing some Left 4 Dead on his PS3 turned around to surprisingly see Kevin & Rolf in his room. "Hi guys!" Ed exclaimed turned off his game and then walked over to his friends.

"Hey Ed, you gotta come with me and Rolf to the junkyard," Kevin told him.

"Um, sure thing Kevin," Ed said as the three football players left Ed's room and started running to Omar's house. It took them a minute to get to his house. To tell you the truth, Omar's house was like one of those houses you'd find in the desert, only bigger and it defiantly looked out of place in Peach Creek.

"You'd find this kind of house in the Middle East or Mexico," Kevin commented as he knocked on the door. In a couple of seconds, Omar came rushing towards them.

"What's up guys?" Omar said.

"Kevin wants us to go to the junkyard," Ed told him.

"Why's that man?" he asked.

"Kevin told Rolf that an explanation would come later," Rolf replied.

"Well my whole family's gotten into a fight over my little sister mispronouncing Allah's name," Omar told them. "So I'm just gonna come along with you guys until the whole thing dies down, which might not be for awhile."

"Cool dude, now let's go," Kevin said as he started running towards the junkyard with Rolf, Ed and Omar fallowing him. The junkyard was only half a mile away from the cul-de-sac, so they'd get there in time.

"Kevin, as Rolf's asked before, what is the reason for going to the junkyard on this Saturday afternoon?" Rolf asked.

Kevin knew that running and talking was not a good combo. So he along with his pals found some bikes lying on the ground and they decided to ride on them to the junkyard. They were only borrowing without asking, not stealing. "Look, remember how during the game how I couldn't focus for shit?" he asked them.

"I remember that," Omar replied. "What was the deal with that? Eddy actually ended up scoring a touchdown instead of you."

"I was amazed," Ed commented.

"Look, earlier that day I ran into some Neo Nazis and I was death threatened into fighting them. They said I could bring along some friends and you guys are really the closet friends I got," Kevin revealed.

"Don't you think you should've told us that before you got us dragged into this?" Omar asked.

"I know I should of, but it stressed me out so much that I forgot."

"Ah, that explains it, yes," Rolf said.

"Dude, I'm your friend and all but I don't wanna get shot," Omar told him.

"They said you would get shot anyway if I didn't get you guys involved in this."

"Bullets don't hurt me," Ed said in a cocky tone. "I'm like Superman, nothing fazes me!"

"Come on guys, if we don't beat up these Neo Nazis then not only are we gonna get killed, but that'll only make them more powerful," Kevin told them. "Would you like it if Neo Nazis took over our town?"

Rolf, Ed and Omar stopped pedaling their bikes to think about this. Kevin also stopped pedaling, only to wait for their answers.

"If Rolf's great papa fought the Nazis, then Rolf would be honored to fight them in the name of Rolf's ancestors!" Rolf proudly exclaimed.

"If Hitler won World War Two then none of us would be alive right now, so yeah, I'm defiantly in," Omar confirmed.

"Nazis are worse then monsters guys," Ed said. "They are demons that crawled out of the pits of hell that want to destroy anyone who isn't like them! So I Ed shall slay the demons!"

"That's the spirit!" Kevin exclaimed. "Now come on, let's kick some Neo Nazi ass once and for all."

All four men huddled up and shouted **"PEACH CREEK COBBLERS!"** as if they were getting ready for a game, but this was no game of football. This was a rumble, a brawl, a fight to the finish, etc. They put the pedal to the metal as they rode to the junkyard as fast as they possibly could.

As they got to the entrance of the junkyard, they got off their bikes and started walking. The junkyard now reeked of highly toxic chemicals, so it wasn't exactly the kind of place to hang out at now. There were also more mountains of trash, ponds that contained mixtures of sewage and pollutants, burning rubber tires and much more shit. Though recently gangs have made an arena in the junkyard, and that was where the fight would be taking place today.

The arena itself was known for being one of the few "not as dirty" parts of the junkyard. Some liked it solely because it reminded them how years ago the junkyard wasn't that filthy as it was now. Others liked it for the bloodshed. Edd would compare this arena to a Roman colosseum if he ever got to see it. But unlike a colosseum, there was no bleachers or chairs to sit on (there were actually chairs, but they weren't for sitting on, except for smacking your opponent with them). However, something this arena did share in common with a Roman colosseum was that people would sometimes die there. Hell there was a Mexican's corpse sticking out of a pile of dirt right on the sidelines.

Once the four stepped into the arena, they saw seven Neo Nazis with their leader in the center. Four to seven wasn't exactly the most even of odds, but it was the closet they could get.

"Well, well, well, looks like a retard, a sand nigger and a couple of traitors to the Aryan race just showed up," the Neo Nazi leader said. The gang of Neo Nazis and Kevin, Ed, Omar and Rolf walked closer to each other, cautious and in the mood to kick some ass.

"You crackers are full of it," Omar told them. "Seriously, all you whiteys are gonna get knocked down a peg quite soon."

"Keep yapping you raghead," another Neo Nazi said. Things were looking like the fight would start out as nothing more but kids saying racial slurs to each other.

"Rolf thinks you Neo Nazis are pitiful pieces of cow shit," Rolf said.

"I actually have more respect for dog shit then you Krauts," Kevin said. Where Kevin picked up that word is amazing, because not only does no one use it anymore, but it's also something different than douche or douche bag.

"Hey, at least we don't defile ourselves by talking with coons," another Neo Nazi said.

"This talk is boring!" Ed exclaimed. "Come on you foul demons, fight us like you have some balls, that is if you have any balls, assholes!"

"Ed's right, enough with the chit chat," Kevin told them Neo Nazis. "You wanted a fight, so let's have it right fucking now, fucking douche bags!"

The Neo Nazi leader pulled out a combat knife from his pocket and then cut his own tongue with it. It was truly a gruesome thing to see as blood was now everywhere on the combat knife. "Come on, let's get them boys! But remember, Kevin is mine." With that, the brawl began. The Neo Nazi leader rushed at Kevin while swinging his combat knife at him. The other Neo Nazis tried to gang up on Rolf, Ed and Omar for some two on one fights.

Kevin was nimbly and swiftly dodging the thrusts and swings of the combat knife like a pro. Rolf punched one of the Neo Nazis into another Neo Nazi, knocking both of them down. Ed had tackled one of them and repeatedly punched him until another Neo Nazi somehow threw him off and then struck him across the face with a spiky baton, knocking some teeth out of Ed's mouth and causing it to be a real mess. Then two Neo Nazis picked up a big wooden chair and threw it at Omar, but he blocked it with his arm, only getting splinters from it (which didn't hurt that bad). The Neo Nazi leader then did a very stupid move; he threw his combat knife at Kevin, but of course he dodged it with ease. Weaponless, Kevin decided that now was a fine time to land in some hits. He punched the Neo Nazi leader four times and then grabbed his arm and kneed it with a tremendous amount of force.

Two of the Neo Nazis then rushed at Rolf while holding crowbars in their hands. Rolf ducked at gave those guys an awesome heel kick, knocking both of them down and out of commission. Suddenly Ed saw one of the Neo Nazis pull a switchblade out of their pocket, which gave him a bit of a fright but wasn't going to stop him. So he found some tires behind him and Ed started throwing them at the Neo Nazis, eventually striking them and knocking both of them out. Omar on the other hand was blocking the punches, but soon got fed up and simply punched both of the two Neo Nazis in the head, knocking both of them out and with dents in their skulls.

Now the odds of winning this rumble were looking better now that it was four on one. Though by no means did that mean the battle was won or over yet. The Neo Nazi leader soon got on top of Kevin and grabbed his combat knife, ready to kill him. "Any last words before I send you to hell?" the Neo Nazi leader mockingly asked Kevin before he was about to silt his throat.

"There's no damn fucking way I'm gonna die at the hands of you, douche bag!" Kevin exclaimed as he pushed the Neo Nazi off him with all the strength he had left. Rolf, Ed and Omar then came running towards the Neo Nazi leader and tackled him. Rolf grabbed the knife out of his hands and tossed it at Kevin knowing that he would catch it. Rolf, Ed and Omar then got off him so Kevin could get back at the Neo Nazi leader once and for all. "You'd think I'd kill you douche, but I got something else stored up my sleeve for you." With that being said, Kevin got on top of the Neo Nazi leader and ferociously gored his left eye out with the combat eye. The Neo Nazi leader was now crying like a baby, squealing like a pig, bleeding like a rabbit and having a wicked seizure, all worth putting up on YouTube.

"That was brutal Kevin," Ed commented.

"I know, but we can't let people like him get away with being douche bags," Kevin replied as he tossed the combat knife at Omar, who caught it. "Omar, destroy it. I don't care how you do it; just make sure no one can ever use it again."

"Got it man," Omar told him as he put the combat knife in his pocket.

"Rolf honors your decision to tear the Nazi's eye out with that blade of evil."

"Well thanks for not freaking out when I did that guys," Kevin said. "I wasn't gonna let him go free and I wasn't going to kill him, so I did the only thing I could think of so he'd learn his lesson on being a prick."

"I think he and his gang are just gonna hate us more and want to personally kill us," Omar responded.

"Maybe, but they'll always know that we kicked their asses!" Ed proudly exclaimed.

"Ed-boy is right," Rolf said.

"Yeah, but I think that we should be heading home now," Kevin said as he began walking out of the junkyard. Rolf, Ed and Omar fallowed him and when they got to the entrance they got back on the bikes they "borrowed" and rode off back to the cul-de-sac for the day.

* * *

Meanwhile in the trailer park, Travis was working on a pickup truck that he stole earlier today. It was so easy hotwiring the pickup truck that even someone like Eddy could do it right. As he was making a new license plate for his brand new pickup truck, Eddy came rushing towards him with a bunch of things that he'd like to tell him.

"What is it Eddy?" Travis asked.

"k3vin thr3w ka+ krap a+ m3," Eddy told him. This made Travis laugh since he only wished that he could've been there to see that.

"Wow Eddy, that's just fucked up," Travis chuckled. "But boy, if I were you I'd wash up cause that shit is toxic."

"k +h3n traviz," Eddy replied. "bu+ +ha+ n0+ t3h 0nly +hing i wan+ +0 t3ll u."

"I'm listing kid."

"la$+ ni+3 i g0+ n0 pl3azur3 fr0m jack3n 0ff," said Eddy.

"Eddy, I don't want to hear about you choking your chicken," Travis replied since like most people he didn't want to hear about another dude masturbating.

"g0t any advic3 f0r m3?" Eddy asked.

"Well if I were you I'd move on to bumping uglies Eddy," Travis suggested. "Though I'll be honest, in your case that would be really difficult."

"wtf d0 u m3an?" Eddy asked as if he had no clue.

"Look, every girl in Peach Creek hates you, hell not even the sluts downtown would have sex with you for a million bucks," Travis truthfully said.

":(" Eddy said. "h0w can i b3cum a ladiz mon?"

"Oh God, where to begin," Travis muttered. "Listen, why don't you get some paint from my trailer and paint this new truck I just got?"

"um, k, sur3 +hing traviz," Eddy responded as he walked into Travis's trailer and then came out with some buckets of paint and paintbrushes.

"Thanks, now let's fix her up before supper," Travis responded as he replaced the old license plate with his new fake one. Eddy got to painting the pickup truck while Travis decided to mess around with the interior equipment in order for it to suit his needs. Needless to say, this pickup truck could possibly come out good or bad if Eddy decided to make it look stupid (such as painting the truck with purple and pink polka dots for example).

* * *

Back in the cul-de-sac, Kevin, Rolf, Ed and Omar had just gotten back from the junkyard. They actually returned the bicycles they had "borrowed" earlier today. But for now they had enough fun for the day and wanted to go back home and relax.

"Gee guys, that fight was exhausting," Ed said as he wiped some sweat off his face.

"I'm just glad that none of us got killed," Omar commented.

"It was quite the time, but Rolf must tend the zucchinis before Rolf's papa gets out the leather belt of discipline," Rolf told his friends.

"Yeah, I think that I'll go home and try to get some sleep," Kevin said.

"I couldn't sleep if I stabbed some dude in the eye," Omar responded.

"Same here," Ed replied.

"Look, I'm only proud of doing it because it was a Neo Nazi who's eye I fucking stabbed," Kevin told them. "If it was anyone else, even that douche bag Eddy, then I would feel bad."

"But you've said that trash talker Ed-boy is one of the Nazis before," Rolf said.

"He may come close, but he defiantly doesn't have what it takes to really be one of those fascist faggots," Kevin exclaimed.

"Shit, I just remembered that it's gonna be Asr soon, so I really got to go," Omar said as he ran off to his house. **"SEE YOU DAWGS LATER!"**

"Rolf also must go back home," Rolf said as he started walking back to his ranch.

"Uh Kevin, I don't know what do to now," Ed said.

"I need some sleep Ed, so go play some Xbox Live or something," Kevin told Ed as he walked backed to his house to take a nap.

"That sounds like a plan!" Ed exclaimed as he cheerfully ran to his house in order to play some Xbox Live for the rest of Saturday.

As Kevin walked inside his house, he saw both his mom and dad sitting down in the living room, looking at him with that "we got to talk with you" look.

"Son, there's something we need to discuss with you," Kevin's dad told his son. "Take a seat."

Kevin sat down on a chair, hoping that his parent's didn't already find out about him goring the Neo Nazi leader's eye out with a combat knife. Though news like that didn't spread that fast around Peach Creek and the kids in town had a very strict no snitching policy. So this had to be something else besides that little incident.

"Don't worry, you aren't in any trouble Kevin," his dad reassured him as he sighed in relief.

"Your father and I thought that you should know something real important," Kevin's mom said.

"Lay it on me," Kevin told his parents.

"Kevin, you're adopted."

Kevin was obviously shocked at this fact. Adopted? All this time Kevin thought he was a member of the Thorpe family, not some other family. A thousand thoughts started swirling around in his head. Who was his real family? Were they still alive? Was he related to someone he would've never guessed as being related to? How did he end up being adopted by his so called "parents" in the first place? Why didn't his "parents" tell him when he was younger? Why now? It was starting to get to him real badly and he was getting stressed out about it.

"We know that you might be a tad bit shocked, but remember to relax son," Kevin's "dad" said.

"**BUT I'M NOT YOUR SON!" **Kevin obviously exclaimed.

"But to us you're our one and only son Kevin," his "mom" said.

"**ALL THIS TIME I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS A THORPE AND NOW I'M NOT?"** Kevin yelled.

"Kevin, please we know this is a real shocker, but you need to settle down," his "dad" told him.

"**WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARILER?"**

"We both thought that you weren't ready for it yet," Kevin's "mom" said.

"And now I think that you're not even ready to know that you were adopted from the way you're acting," Kevin's "dad" told him. "I told you that we should've waited till he graduated high school. Now it's gonna take his forever to settle down!"

"**WHERE'S MY REAL FAMILY?"**

"Kevin!" his "father" exclaimed. "Honey, go make a sub sandwich for Kevin, you know that always cheers him up."

His "mother" went into the kitchen while Kevin tried to calm himself down by breathing in and out. Kevin really had no idea if he was overreacting or not, but it didn't matter to him since it wasn't like his friends or Eddy was around or anything like that.

"Kevin, do you want me to tell you how you ended up with me and your mom?" his "dad" asked.

"I guess so," Kevin quietly said while breathing in and out. His dad could hear his reply, so he went on to tell Kevin about how he became adopted.

"First off Kevin, your real name isn't even Kevin Vance Thorpe. It's really Clarence Vladimir Tinker. We decided to rename you because Clarence sounded kind of dorky, right?" Kevin's adoptive "dad" asked and Kevin nodded since he was thankful that at least he wasn't named Clarence since even to him it sounded like a snobby prep name. "Anyway, if it makes you feel better, you're real father had the same experience as you did because he too was adopted back as a kid. I know, because your real father was my best friend back when I went to high school, though last time I seen him alive was when he left on the bus for Fort Sill. Then a year later I heard at his funeral that he was shot during the Gulf War, which I'll admit was how he wanted to die. Before that your real grandpa died in the Vietnam War and was shot. Kevin, you must realize that every male member in your real family has died in an American War or conflict ever since the Revolution."

"So then what happened?" Kevin asked as his "mom" came back with a sub sandwich for Kevin.

"Okay, weeks after the funeral your real mother drowned in a lake. Later I found you in your crib, helpless and parentless. So we filled out some papers, adopted you and then changed your name like that."

"Oh wow," Kevin said as he took a bite out of his sub sandwich. "Look, I need to think about this alone." Kevin then walked to his backyard instead of his room for some reason. He thought about being adopted for awhile until a certain someone came out from behind a tree.

"s0 i h3ard +ha+ ur ad0p+3d u li++l3 pussy," said none other then Eddy McGee who had overheard the entire conversation about Kevin being adopted.

"My God Eddy," Kevin said. "You just had to snoop in, didn't you douche?"

"b3++3r +h3n havin +ravis y3ll a+ u f0r pa!n+in hiz truck wi+h pink n purpl3 p0lka d0+z," Eddy replied. Yes, he actually did paint Travis's new stolen pickup truck with pink and purple polka dots, which obviously pissed off Travis quite a bit. Travis then got so pissed off that he pulled out a hunting rifle and death threatened Eddy to get off his property or else he'd get shot.

Kevin grabbed Eddy by the collar of his shirt. "Don't ever tell anyone or else I'll fucking kill you right were you're standing douche bag," Kevin threatened, though it wasn't like anyone would believe Eddy. But then people would be asking Kevin why Eddy was going around telling people that he was adopted. So that way he'd eventually have to tell the truth.

"wanna mas+urba+e ab0ut i+??" Eddy arrogantly asked.

In sheer anger Kevin slammed Eddy's head on the tree, knocking him out and leaving some blood stains all over the grass and tree. He then picked up Eddy and threw him over his fence since Eddy's house was right over the fence (yes, they're next door neighbors). Now the only thing he was gonna do was go in his room and watch some 60 Minutes in order to try and get his mind off a lot of things and hopefully get in some rest. Like most people Kevin didn't like having such hectic days that nearly made him want to scream out of bloody rage. He first threw a bag of cat shit at Eddy, then gored a Neo Nazi leader's left eye out with a combat knife and then knocked out Eddy while leaving obvious traces of it. Right now Kevin didn't really care if he got in trouble or not for knocking out Eddy, and even if he did the most punishment he'd get would be no TV for a week. He had much bigger things on his mind right now and the only thing he wanted to do now was sleep through the rest of the weekend.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _That's chapter six for you. Please leave me a review on it stating your opinions and whatnot. Expect chapter seven by the begining of April or the end of March, which ever one comes first._


	7. Gangs N Shit

**Author's Note:** _Hey guys, sorry that it's been awhile since I made a new chapter, but here it is, chapter seven! I know, it's kind of short and might not be my best since it's kind of rushed, but hey, at least it's finally up. So yeah, read and enjoy bitches._

* * *

Chapter – 7

The downtown part of Peach Creek was also known as the bad part of Peach Creek. Most of the town's crimes happened here and most of the kids who lived here would end up in prison by the time they were in their twenties. Prostitution was common and there was at least one hooker at every block. And there was always at least one murder here a month. Needless to say, this was where all of the town's gangs originated from. In fact, just one of the many gangs in town was called 'Paralyze' and it also so happened to be that gang that Jonny had only recently joined.

Paralyze was mostly made up of African-Americans like Jonny, but the gang also had some Native Americans and Hispanics in it. Members of the gang were called 'Paralyzers' and should not be taken lightly. Paralyze had roughly around twenty members and most of the crimes they committed were arson, theft, assault and rape.

Right now, Jonny was in an ally with his fellow Paralyzers. He was sitting on top of a dumpster while smoking a cigarette because he was bored and that there seemed to be nothing to do. Jonny was in this gang only for protection, but he knew that everyone else in this gang was in it for the hell of it. Jonny had heard how back in the 1960's that people solely joined gangs for protection alone, but this was 2008 and not 1968 anymore.

Sometimes, he wondered why he wanted to get dragged into a gang in the first place.

"Nigga, I'm bored," a Paralyzer named Bubba said. He was seventeen, bald, obese, African-American and was one of the strongest people in Paralyze.

"What could I do about that?" Jonny asked as he threw his cigarette on the ground.

"I don't know man," Bubba replied. "But what about you, me, Gannon and Red just go to K-Mart and do some shit." The two people that Bubba were also Paralyzers just like him and Jonny. Gannon was fifteen, a Native American, average sized, quiet and always carried some dope on him. Red on the other hand was sixteen, African-American, tall, lanky and a real trash talker.

"Alright, sounds fun," Jonny replied as he hopped off the dumpster. Bubba then called Gannon and Red to come, which they did.

"So why the fuck did you call us over you fatfuck?" Red asked.

"So you, me, Jonny and Gannon could go over to K-Mart and just do some shit over there, bitch," Bubba replied.

"Alright then you big fat motherfucker!" Red replied as the four Paralyzers started walking over to K-Mart.

* * *

Meanwhile, two other teenagers were walking along in the downtown part of Peach Creek. It was none other than Kevin & Ed. The reason why Rolf & Omar weren't with them right now was because Rolf and his family were selling some goods in Cherry Pond (a small town with a population of one thousand that's in the same county as Peach Creek) and Omar was in Egypt right now for his uncle's funeral. Anyway, they were just bored and were only walking around downtown Peach Creek to pass some time.

"Hey Kevin, why are you down in the dumps?" Ed asked his friend. Yes, Kevin still couldn't shake off what he had done a week ago to that Neo Nazi leader and the fact that he was adopted. Kevin still hadn't told anyone else that he was adopted yet, and did not plan on telling anyone else for quite some time. "Is it about last week and the Neo Nazis?"

"Yes it is Ed," Kevin told him. "Look, that guy defiantly had what was coming to him, but what I did to him was brutal. Ed, I never want to see you do something like that unless you have a really good reason for it."

"Gotcha Kevin!" Ed exclaimed.

As the two were walking, they decided to talk about some things in order to pass the time. "Hey Kevin, remembered what Eddy and Travis did during our game on Thursday?" Ed asked. The game Peach Creek had was against Tomato Hot Springs, a Native American reservation with a population of around three thousand people and it was in the same county as Peach Creek and Cherry Pond. Anyway, Peach Creek had won its game against them with a score of 28-21.

"Man, they went beyond retarded during the game," Kevin replied. "Of course Eddy just had to knock out that big Native with his mean crush grip and Travis just had to make us look bad by trying to get laid with that one hot Native girl we seen over there."

"She was sexy," Ed commented. "Um, isn't Travis part Native too?"

"Yeah, but just barely," Kevin told him. "You can't even tell that he's part Native unless you take a look at his dad. Honestly, Travis is just one of those white boys who think that it's impressive being one percent Native when it's not."

They ended up walking in front of some store. Paula came walking out of the store while holding a bag with her mouth. Ed froze up instantly with nervousness and anxiety because of his crush on her.

"Dude, you alright man?" Kevin asked.

By hearing Kevin's voice, it was as if someone had thawed out Ed from being frozen with a flamethrower. "Oh, um, it's uh nothing Kevin," Ed replied.

"Look Ed, I know that it seems a bit weird with her having no arms and all, but it's nothing to be that freaked out about," Kevin told him. "Hell you should probably be used to stuff like that by watching those horror movies you have laying around in your basement."

"It's not that," Ed said.

"Well then what is it?"

"I think that I have a crush on Paula," Ed told his friend.

Kevin turned around to see were Paula was walking off to. He decided that it would be best if he tried to help out Ed with his crush and give him some advice. "So, have you asked her out yet?" he asked.

"I think that she'll turn me down," Ed replied.

"Oh come on now, have a bit of confidence!" Kevin exclaimed. "What makes you think that she'll turn down a beast like you?"

"But Paula doesn't even know I exist, Kevin!" Ed exclaimed. "That and I heard I smell before and that girls do not like smelly things."

"Well that's why you need to know her better," Kevin said. "And come on, the last time you really reeked was during that one time you crawled in the sewers to get back Rolf's chickens. Seriously Ed, it's not even that bad anymore."

"Okay, but Double-D told me that Paula likes smarty pants and I know I'm not the brightest bulb in the batch," Ed said.

"Yeah, well I'm not the smartest person in the world either," Kevin told him. "By smart, she probably means that she wants a guy who just isn't a total fucktard like Eddy, that's all. I've even heard from Nazz that she used to go out with this one gangster sophomore kid back when she was in seventh grade."

"Why'd they break up?" Ed asked.

"Because that douche bag was cheating on her with some preppy senior bitch. But boy, I heard that when Paula found out that she kicked him so hard in the balls that they fell off," Kevin responded.

"Sounds cool," Ed said.

"Look Ed," Kevin said. "If I were you, I'd go after Paula right now before someone else takes her."

"Sounds like a plan!" Ed exclaimed as he started walking off to see Paula and ask her out with hopes of success.

"Ed needs a girlfriend," Kevin commented as he also started walking, but to his house since there was nothing really left for him to do today.

* * *

Meanwhile inside K-Mart, Jonny, Bubba, Gannon and Red has just stole some merchandize and managed to not get caught thanks to slipping past the security guards and smashing up the sensors so that they wouldn't go off and alert everyone else that they were stealing.

As the four Paralyzers got out of the store, Jonny had seen someone he knew injecting himself with heroin and reading child pornography. It was none other then Eddy, who seemed to be wearing a leather jacket because he thought it was cool when it really made him look like a 1950's throwback. Jonny never really liked Eddy and he knew that he deserved getting beat up.

"See that asshole over there," Jonny said, pointing at Eddy.

"Yeah, I see some white kid injecting himself with some heroin and reading kid porn," Red told him. "Big deal, I do it all the time."

"It's not that he's reading child pornography and doing heroin," Jonny told his follow gangsters. "It's that he called me a nigger before."

"Fucking racist needs his ass whooped," Bubba said as he put down the goods he stole. "Come on, let's fuck that bitch up."

"Yeah nigga, I'll help you beat the living shit out of that racist punk," Red told Jonny as he put down his goods.

"Racism bad," Gannon said as he put down his goods.

"Okay, now let's kick Eddy's ass!" Jonny exclaimed as he put down his goods and charged at Eddy, along with Bubba, Gannon and Red.

Eddy stopped reading his child pornography and injecting himself with heroin when he noticed four gangsters coming after him. "0 shi+," Eddy said to himself. "l00kz li3k I r ab00t 2 g3t jump3d t3h fuck up agian 2day"

Eddy got up in order to give himself a chance to defend himself, but Bubba tackled him to the ground and Eddy couldn't push him off since Bubba weighed so damn much. Red and Gannon then started kicking Eddy in the head a lot.

"Hey now, let me have a shot at him," Jonny said as Bubba, Gannon and Red got off Eddy.

"y t3h h3ll r u d0in diz 2 m3, nigga?" Eddy asked as he was in fetal position due to the amount of pain he was in right now.

"Because you deserve it," Jonny said as he ripped off Eddy's leather jacket, rubbed it in some nearby dog shit and then spit on it. "Here, it's for you, bitch boy." Jonny rubbed the dirty leather jacket all over Eddy's face and then threw it in a nearby garbage can. Jonny then pulled Eddy up and pretty much went bat shit crazy on him by whacking him with Plank. Then just as Eddy was about to be knocked out, a security guard came out of the store and seen what was going on.

"Hey, knock off that shit right now!" the security guard said. Jonny, Bubba, Red and Gannon all ran away from K-Mart while Eddy was crying from the beating he received. You would think that Eddy would be used to having his ass kicked all the time, but Eddy was never a tough kid and never would be.

* * *

Back in the downtown part of Peach Creek, Ed was still stalking Paula very carefully so she wouldn't see him since Ed always known that stalkers looked bad (his own horror movies taught him that). And then as Paula was walking into a black ally, a very bad person appeared from the shadows.

"Hey baby, how about you and me go to my place and do it like they do on the Discovery Channel?" a scumbag named Travis asked.

"Ick, no you fucking scumbag," Paula said to him.

"Why? If you're scared of loosing your virginity to a guy like me, then don't worry, I've had experience," Travis told her.

"Good God, just leave me alone and go crawl back to that mobile of yours," Paula said as she walked away from him. But then Travis grabbed her and then shoved her to the ground.

"I usually like my fucking around to be fun, but I'll act forceful if I have to," Travis told her.

"Get off me you rapist!" Paula exclaimed as she kicked Travis in the balls, making him grunt in pain.

"Alright bitch, it's raping time," Travis said as his pants and boxers fell off as he was going to rape Paula. Ed, who was watching this couldn't stand how Travis was acting anymore. So Ed charged at Travis and tackled him off Paula and then started punching him in the face.

"Get away from her you foul fiend!" Ed exclaimed as he ax-hammered Travis in the nose so hard that his nose exploded.

"Oh, it's you, that one retarded kid who has to ride the short bus to school along with all the other retards, autistic nerds, ADD faggots and cripples," Travis said as he pushed Ed off him and then punched him a couple of times before kneeing him into a brick wall, making Ed collapse. Ed then seen a lead pipe on the ground and then struck Travis with it in the leg, making him fall down. Ed got up and then smashed the lead pipe on Travis's chest so hard that pieces of the lead pipe got stuck on Travis's chest and were piercing him.

"Do not fuck with me or Paula!" Ed exclaimed as he picked Travis up and threw him at the brick wall and couple of times and then kicked him in the stomach, making Travis throw up blood.

"Who do you think you are, Superman you fucking wannabe jock?" Travis said as he punched in gut, but it didn't hurt him at all.

"Silly redneck, I have a six-pack," Ed said as he took off his shirt and revealed his six-pack. Ed then grabbed Travis's head and smashed it right through the brick wall, knocking Travis out.

As Ed finally took care of Travis, he had seen Paula who was just watching their entire fight this whole time. Ed walked over to Paula to see how she was.

"Um, are you okay Ms." Ed asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Paula told him. "Thanks from saving me from getting raped by that monster."

"You are welcome," Ed told her. "Oh yeah and um, my name is Ed!"

"My name's Paula," she responded. The two of them, then walked out of the black ally together as the sun was setting in good ol' Peach Creek.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Well that's chapter seven for ya. And by the way, as a head's up I plan on having future chapters focus more on the attics of Eddy. Also, if you have any funny ideas for stupid shit that Eddy could do, then feel free to tell me (even though I got some ideas already, I could always use some more funny ideas since humor equals lulz). And expect the next chapter to come out before the year ends!_


	8. The Attics of Eddy McGee

**Author's Note:** _Well it appears as if I got this chapter up a whole lot sooner then I had expected. But here it is, chapter eight of Ed, Edd n Eddy's Last Stand. Be warned, some characters (mostly Eddy) might come off as a tad bit out of character. But that comes with growing up, doesn't it? Anyway, read and enjoy this chapter. And thanks to thexChiotorie for giving me an idea for this chapter!_

* * *

Chapter – 8

It was a nice October day in Peach Creek with a clear blue sky, fair weather and plus it was Friday and all of the kids had just gotten out of school. Though of course in Peach Creek, Eddy was doing something beyond retarded as usual and today he was on top of his roof with Styrofoam bat wings attached to his arms. Yes, Eddy was going to attempt flight with only a pair of Styrofoam bat wings to assist him. All the other kids were calling Eddy a moron for this and told him to get down or else he would kill himself, with the exception of Travis who actually did want him to jump for the lulz of course.

"LADI3Z N G3N+LEMON, BOHZ N NIGGAS!!1!" Eddy exclaimed in order to get the other kids attention. "2DAY I R G0NNA SHOW U BUNCHZ 0F BI+CHZ H0W 2 FLY LI3K A MAN!!1!1"

"Eddy you fucktard, you're gonna get yourself killed if you try to fly," Kevin told. A part of him wanted Eddy to jump, but another part of him wanted Eddy to live.

"Kevin's right Eddy," Double-D told him. "It would be impossible for you to get any flight at all with those Styrofoam bat wings. And if you jump, you'll probably get put into a coma or even worse, you will breathe your last breath."

"Come on Eddy, just get off the roof and don't jump," said fourteen year old Nadine "Nazz" Annie Vanfartensmear. Nazz has become more mature and now has longer hair in a ponytail that's now more of a dirty blond color and has curves to her waist and hips. She wears a black shirt with a white collar and cuffs, earrings, purple pants, and black converse all-stars. Nazz has become smarter and is an honors student, though having grades lower than Double-D's still (however, she'll act like a dumb blond every now and then though). Her main sports are cheerleading, volleyball and softball. So yeah, Nazz didn't change too much and was still preppy.

"Eddy, it won't work!" exclaimed Ed. "I know, I tried doing this when I was seven and it gave me some minor brain damage!"

"Rolf will bite the hind of Wilfred if this preposterous trick of yours works elite talking Ed-boy," Rolf said.

"Good God," Paula said. "You really are the stupidest punk in the world Eddy."

"**JUMP BITCH!!!"** yelled Travis. Yes, even though Eddy was his only friend, Travis still wanted him to jump solely for humor, of course. Plus he thought that Eddy kind of deserved to get hurt for painting that one pick-up truck he hotwired with pink and purple polka dots a couple of weeks ago.

"ALRIT3, 4 U TRAVIZ MAH L0VE, I SHAL SH0W ALL TH3ZE PR3PPY FAGG0TZ H0W 2 FLY!!11!1" Eddy exclaimed as he actually jumped off his roof! At first he just dropped, but then caught onto a wind current and actually started flying in the air! Eddy did numerous back flips, front flips and all sorts of other tricks while flying. Rolf pulled out Wilfred from his pocket (using hammerspace of course) and then bit his pig's hind as he said he would if Eddy could manage to really fly. Double-D, Paula, Kevin and Nazz were simply dumbstruck at how Eddy could fly with Styrofoam bat wings since that should be fucking impossible. Ed thought that it was kind of cool, and Travis was wondering why Eddy called him his love since Travis thought that Eddy wasn't gay.

But after some showing off, something even more impossible happened. While Eddy was doing some spirals over Ed's house, lighting struck him on a clear blue sky sunny day and that's when Eddy dive bombed into Sarah's room.

"Oh Lord," Double-D said. "If the lighting didn't kill him, then Sarah surely will."

Inside Sarah's room, Eddy had landed on top of Sarah's bed and made an explosion that practically made her room look like it just got hit by an A-bomb. After awhile of lying down, Eddy got back up, but then Sarah stormed in angrily into her room at what Eddy did to it.

"**EDDY YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!" **Sarah yelled. **"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM!?"**

"UM, U C SARA, I WAZ FLYIN N TH3N A B0LT OF LIGHTIN STRUCK M3 N TH3N I CRASH3D IN+0 UR RO0OM," Eddy told her.

"Is that so?" Sarah asked. "In that case I better get you flying again." Sarah jumped on top of Eddy and started punching and kicking him. Eddy didn't fight back at all though since he thought that a girl touching him in anyway at all was hot. After taking quite the beating, Sarah threw Eddy out of her room with all of her remaining strength.

Eddy actually managed to get some air yet again and was flying some more, only to be struck down by lighting again, this time having him dive bomb his way to the ground with a big **"THUD!"**

The kids rushed over towards Eddy and looked at him. Double-D then sat down and checked his pulse.

"He's still alive," Double-D confirmed to the other cul-de-sac children that Eddy was only unconscious. "I don't know what's more outstanding; the fact that Eddy actually managed to fly with a pair of cheaply made Styrofoam bat wings or that he was struck by lighting twice on a clear sunny day and beaten up by Sarah, yet managed to survive."

"Man, I thought that he really died for a second there," Kevin said.

"Holy fuck that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen!" Travis exclaimed as he was laughing his ass off (or "LMAO" as Eddy would say). "Shit, I should've brought my video camera with me!"

"I'm going to take Eddy to my room for some immediate medical attention," Double-D said as he tried to pick up Eddy, but he was too heavy for him.

"Let me lend you a hand there Double-D!" Ed said, picking up Eddy with only one hand and then ran to Double-D's house with him as Double-D too ran towards his house.

"Hey Ed, wait for me!" Paula said as she ran towards Double-D's house so that she could be with Ed. Now Ed and Paula weren't going out just yet, but they both liked each other ever since Ed saved her from getting raped by Travis.

"You know Rolf, you can get that pig out of your mouth now," Nazz said to Rolf.

Rolf released his bite from Wilfred's ass. "Rolf was staying true to Rolf's word, that is all."

"Dude, this has been one fucked up day so far," Kevin said as he pondered about what other ridiculous things could possibly happen today.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at Jonny's house, Omar and Jonny came walking out, talking to each other about something.

"Damn Jonny that sounds like a good plan you got there," Omar said.

"But are you going to help me out with it?" Jonny asked back.

"Ah hell you know it man," Omar said as he and Jonny fistbumped each other. Then Kevin came walking over towards the two to tell them about Eddy's most recent antic.

"What's sup Kevin?" Jonny asked him.

"Well Eddy jumped off his house trying to fly," Kevin told him.

"Did he fucking splat once he hit the ground?" Jonny asked.

"No, actually Eddy was flying in the air for awhile, but then got knocked out after he got struck by lighting twice and had his ass handed to him by Sarah," Kevin replied.

"How the hell do get struck by lighting twice on a day like this, let alone fly?" Omar asked.

"It's just one of life's greatest mysteries dude," Kevin said.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Eddy awoke in Double-D's room with Double-D nowhere to be found. Eddy then noticed that Double-D had a computer in his room that also had Spore on it. Eddy got up and then went onto Double-D's computer and started playing some Spore. He went to the creature creator part of the game and was busy enjoying himself while making tons of penis creatures for the lulz of course.

Soon enough Double-D got out of his bathroom and was going to check up on Eddy again. Once he opened the door to his room, he had seen Eddy playing Spore on his computer.

"I see that someone's finally awake Eddy," Double-D told him. "Mind explaining to me as to why you're playing Spore on my computer without my permission?"

"BUT D0U8L3-D, SP0R3 R A REALLLY SUP3R MCDUPER FUN A$$ GAME!!11!1" Eddy told him.

"I too enjoy playing Spore Eddy," Double replied. "But seriously, next time please ask in advance if you wish to play it on my computer."

"U KN0W WHAT FAGG0T, I R G0NNA LEAV3 DIS GAY BI+CH A$$ H0ME 0F URS NO0W, H0MO!1!1!11!" Eddy exclaimed as he walked out of Double-D's house.

Double-D then decided to play Spore once Eddy left his house, but once he got on, a message came up saying that he was banned from playing Spore.

"What is this?" Double-D asked himself. "Banned for submitting inappropriate creatures?" Let's just say that Double-D had a pretty good idea on who got him banned.

Now outside, Eddy had seen Travis right on the sidewalk. Travis was waiting for Eddy this whole time while holding a video camera in his hands. "SO TRAVIZ, G0NNA MAK3 A M0VI3 I C!?!?1"

"Yep, you know it and you're the main character," Travis told him.

"0 BOH H0ORAY!1!11!1!11!!!1" Eddy exclaimed.

"Now come on, we gotta "make a scene" over at the train tracks," Travis said as him and Eddy ran over to Peach Creek's local rail road.

* * *

At the train tracks, Travis had just set up his video camera and was now recording. "Alright Eddy, are you ready for this?"

"I M A BIT SCAR3D +RAVIZ!!!1!1!1" Eddy replied. Right now, Eddy had his five foot long cock (yes, Eddy really has that big of a penis) tied down to the train tracks with rope. If you couldn't see where this was going, well let's just say that Eddy's gonna have a train plow his big ass fucking dick down.

"Ah come on Eddy, don't be such a pussbag like that Double-Douche Bag kid," Travis told him. "Now man up so you don't look weak on the camera."

"BUT DIS PLACE, I+ BRINGZ M3 BACK 2 BAD M3M0RIEZ!1!11!!!!1!" Eddy exclaimed to Travis. Yes, two years ago this was the same exact railroad where Eddy and Rolf had apart of their challenge to get the toughest Urban Ranger badge available. Needless to say, that challenge did not end all that well in Eddy's favor. Speaking of the Urban Rangers, that group no longer existed since Rolf, Jonny and Jimmy all agreed that the organization was getting kind of lame and so they disbanded it.

"Oh come on Eddy, don't be such a retard," Travis told him. "I promise man, it won't hurt at all."

"R3ALLLLLLLLLLY TRAVIZ, IT W0N'T HUR+ 1 BIT!?!??!?!?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah, you won't feel a thing," Travis lied to him as he heard a train whistle blow in the distance, indicating that the train was coming soon. "Alright Eddy, here comes the train, now you know what to say to the camera.

"**HI I M EDDY SKIIPER MCG33 N DIS IS JACKA$$!1!1!1!1!1" **Eddy yelled as the train came moving towards him at over hundreds of miles per hour. As the train approached him, Eddy pissed on the other side of the tracks in fear and also pooped his pants. And in a flash, the train came and ran over Eddy's wiener. Eddy was screaming in sheer agony, terror and pain from this as blood, urine, gore and semen came gushing out of Eddy's sausage, all while Travis was laughing his ass off so hard that he dropped his video camera.

In a minute the train had moved on and was no longer running over Eddy's hot dog. Eddy untied the rope off of what remained of his snake. Though Eddy just masturbated in response to this and before you knew it, Eddy's dick grew back in no time. This time though it was even bigger than before at six feet in length.

"Holy fuckballs Eddy, that was even funnier then you getting struck by lighting today!" Travis exclaimed as he was still chuckling about the serious injuries that Eddy's penis had sustained.

"TRAVIZ U LYE LI3K A DAWG, +HA+ HURT LI3K M0TH3RFUCK3N HELLL!1!1!1!111!" Eddy exclaimed as he picked up the video camera. "U THINK +HA+ DIS PI3C3 0F SHI+ STILL W0RK!?!??!"

Travis got up (still laughing of course) and checked out the video camera. "Yep, the thing still works," Travis confirmed. Just then though, a car came passing by with a cul-de-sac kid in it who had been away at Canada for quite sometime.

"H0LY M0TH3R 0F GAWD!1!111!1!!!" Eddy exclaimed. "R +HA+ WH0 I THINK I+ R?!?!?!?"

"I have no idea who that kid was Eddy," Travis said.

"IT WAZ JIMMAH, TH3 GAYEST M0ST BIS3XUAL L3$IBIN TRANS3XUAL H0MO BI+CH A$$ PR3PPY FAGG0T 2 HAV3 EV3R LIV3D IN TH3 CUL-D3-SAK!1!1!1!1!11!" Eddy exclaimed. "CUM WI+H M3 TRAVIZ, WE HAV3 SUM M3SSIN AR0UUD 2 D0!1!1!1!1!1" Eddy then grabbed Travis and fallowed the car to Jimmy's house, which was where it was heading.

* * *

It was about half an hour later when ten year old James "Jimmy" Sanders Clair exited his house and took a look at the cul-de-sac for the first time in four months. Jimmy is still thin, pale and fragile, but his retainer had been removed and now only has braces. He wears a turquoise sweater vest over a long white shirt, black trousers, and grey puma sneakers. Jimmy himself hadn't really changed all that much and was still a little pussy, though he had became a better artist over the summer thanks to having so much time on his hands to draw.

Jimmy looked around the cul-de-sac and to him it just felt like it had matured a bit and might have possibly changed while he was away in Canada. But still, the first thing that Jimmy wanted to do was visit his best friend Sarah. She lived nearby to him, so Jimmy decided to just walk over to Sarah's house and meet up with her again. But as soon as he stepped his foot on Sarah's front yard, Eddy popped out of nowhere, tackled Jimmy to the ground and then restrained him.

"SURPISE SURPIZ3, JIMMAH MAH B0H!11!1!1!1" exclaimed Eddy as he restrained Jimmy and then handcuffed him (Eddy got the handcuffs from a police officer that he found unconscious on the streets of downtown one day. Eddy also stole a handgun, a police baton; a Taser and pepper spray from the out cold cop as well).

"Eddy, what the heck are you doing!?" Jimmy exclaimed. "And why are you talking so funny?"

"I TALK LI3K DIS CUZ I+ R C0OL JIMY," Eddy told him. "N BY T3H WAY, M3 N MAH H0ME DAWG TRAVIZ R G0NNA TI3 U T0 A TR33 AND SH0OT UR WHI+3 PREP A$$ DOWN WI+H PAIN+BAL GUNZ!!1!!1!1!1"

"Why I don't believe we've meet before," Travis said as he walked up to Jimmy. "The name's Travis, and don't forget it girl." Travis then covered up Jimmy's mouth with his hands as he and Eddy took Jimmy deep into the woods to tie him up to a tree and shoot him with paintball guns.

* * *

Back in Sarah's house, Sarah was still fixing up her room since Eddy had crashed into it a couple of hours ago. But then as she was picking up one of her dolls, Sarah felt a strange tingle all over her body that made her sense that Jimmy might be in trouble. _"Oh no," _Sarah thought. _"Eddy and Travis must have got to Jimmy first."_ Sarah immediately rushed down to Ed's room to get his help, because even though Sarah was relatively powerful, she knew that she could possibly get raped if she tried to go up against Eddy and Travis all by herself.

She soon got down to Ed's room and barraged opened his door. Sarah seen that Ed was just searching for one of his video games in a gigantic pile.

"Ed, I really need your help!" Sarah exclaimed. "I think that Eddy and Travis might have got to Jimmy and are going to do bad things to him!"

"But Sarah, I'm busy looking for Call of Duty 4 right now," Ed said as he continued searching through his big ass pile of video games, only to find a note. "Huh, what's this?" he asked himself as he read the note which said: _"D33R ED, I ST0L3 UR C0CK 0F D00DY 4: M0D3RN GAY FUCK S+UPID T0 FLU$H D0WN MAH TOIL3T CUZ I+ R R3ALLY THAT SUP3R MCFUCK3NDUPER FAGG0TY. HUGZ N KIZZ3S, T3H L33TEST KID IN T3H CUL-D3-SAK, EDY!1!1!1!1!1!1!"_

Pissed off that Eddy had flushed his Call of Duty 4 game down his toilet, Ed walked over to his closet which was home to some weaponry. He searched through the weapons until he found a spiky whip for Sarah that could rip off chucks of flesh and a pair of brass knuckles for him.

"Here, take this baby sister," Ed said as he handed over the spiky skin ripping whip to Sarah. Ed then put on the brass knuckles as he suddenly put on a very super serious face. "This is personal now, Eddy."

* * *

Now in the woods, Jimmy was tied up to a tree with rope while Eddy and Travis were aiming their paintball guns directly at him. Jimmy was of course scared shitless and was starting to cry. **"STOP IT EDDY!!" **Jimmy cried. **"WHAT DID I DO TO YOU TO DESERVE THIS?"**

"Wow, everything you told me about this kid was true," Travis said. "I never would've guessed that bigger pussies then Double-Douche Bag even existed."

"NOTHIN JIMMY, DIZ R ALL F04 T3H L0LZ!1!1!1!!" Eddy exclaimed as he inserted some more ammo into his paintball gun.

Jimmy, thinking fast knew that there was something that might get him out of this tight pickle of his. "Eddy, if you want my money, then here, take it!" Jimmy exclaimed as dug into his pocket and threw out some cash.

"O BOHS, MONIEZ!1!1!1!1" Eddy exclaimed as he dropped his paintball gun and rushed over the cash on the ground to pick it up. If there was one trait that would always remain with Eddy, it was his love of money, the greedy little bastard.

"Okay, I gave you all the money I had on me," Jimmy said. "Are you going to let me go now?"

"0H FUKZ NO0O0O0O0O0O JIMMY!1!1!1!1!!1" Eddy exclaimed as he picked up the remaining money on the ground and then walked back to pick up his paintball gun. "N0W IT R TIM3 T0 DIE JIMMAH!1!!!1!11!" With that being said, Eddy and Travis fired away at Jimmy with their paintball guns. Every shot made Jimmy scream in pain and of course with him having such low pain tolerance, these shots fired from the paintball guns even hurt him more than they would on your average person.

"Damn, I could make a movie out of shit like this," Travis said to himself as he continued shooting Jimmy with his paintball gun and was still recording on his video camera right now. But as the shots were being fired away, a loud crack was heard.

"**HO0LY MO+H3R OF GAWD!1!!11!1!1" **Eddy yelled in pain. Ed and Sarah had arrived and Sarah had just whipped Eddy, ripping off his shirt and some skin.

Both Eddy and Travis stopped shooting at Jimmy and Travis turned around to see who was there. "Oh look, its captain special Ed and his sex slave annoying bitch Sarah here to save the day I see," Travis mocked.

"**YOU TWO ASSHOLES ARE GOING TO PAY FOR HURTING JIMMY!!!!!" **Sarah yelled in anger as she cracked her whip.

"**YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY EDDY FOR FLUSHING CALL OF DUTY 4 DOWN YOUR TOILET!!!!" **Ed yelled.

"Come on Eddy, we can shoot that little gay kid later," Travis told Eddy. "For know, let's go kick Ed and Sarah's ass!"

"THAT S0UND LI3K A G0OD PLAN!!1!1!1" Eddy exclaimed as he starting firing away at Ed with his paintball gun. But to Ed getting shot with a paintball gun was absolutely nothing. Ed then charged at Eddy and tackled him to the ground as he punched Eddy in the jaw with his brass knuckles.

"Oh wow, you would use brass knuckles cause deep down you're just some retarded nerd who probably doesn't even know how to put on a shirt," Travis said as he picked up Ed and threw him off Eddy. Then Travis got on top of Ed and started punching and dropkicking him. In response to this, Sarah whipped Travis in the head, ripping off some skin.

"**THAT'S FOR BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!"** Sarah yelled as she continued whipping Travis, but then Travis managed to grab the whip and pulled Sarah towards him.

"You know Sarah, you sure do have fucking anger problems," Travis said as he slugged Sarah in the face, knocking her down.

Ed had seen what had happened and was now officially just as pissed off as the time when he had a pebble in his shoe. So Ed got up, grabbed Travis and then slugged him in the face so hard that Travis was knocked into a tree that was forty feet away.

"**YOU DON'T EVER HIT MY SISTER YOU MOTHERFUCKING TRAILER TRASH!!!!!!!"** Ed yelled and then picked up a boulder right next to him and threw it at the tree, making it collapse. The tree then feel right on Travis and then so did the boulder that Ed threw, knocking out Travis.

"OH SHI+, ED JUST KN0CK3D OUT TRAVIZ!1!11!!1!" Eddy said as he got back up and tried to run away, but then Sarah whipped his legs and that made Eddy fall down. Ed then walked up to Eddy, looking down at him. "CUM ON ED, U W0ULDN'T HURT 0N3 OF UR B3ST FRIENDZ N0W, WOULD U?"

"You're not my fucking friend anymore Eddy," Ed said as he took off the brass knuckles and then ax hammered Eddy in the head as hard as he could, knocking him out. Ed took in a deep breathe after this and then walked over to the tree that Jimmy was tied up to and untied him. Sarah then got up and walked over to Jimmy to see if he was okay.

"Thank you Ed and Sarah!" Jimmy exclaimed as he hugged both Ed and Sarah, getting paint all over them thanks to being shot with paintballs so much.

"It was no problem bucko!" Ed said.

"They didn't hurt you to badly now, did they Jimmy?" Sarah asked him.

"I think they made me bleed Sarah," Jimmy replied.

"I thought that was paint all over you Jimmy, not blood," Ed said.

"Look Jimmy, we gotta get you cleaned up," Sarah said as Ed picked up both her and Jimmy as he put the two kids on his shoulders.

"To home we go," Ed said as he walked backed into the cul-de-sac with Jimmy and Sarah sitting on his shoulders.

"Hey Jimmy, did Eddy take your money?" Sarah asked out of curiosity. "Because I heard that he's resorted to mugging nowadays instead of scamming."

"I gave him some cash because I thought that he would let me go Sarah," Jimmy replied.

"Should we get it back from him?"

"Nah, it's only Canadian money," Jimmy answered. "He won't be able to buy a single thing here with it."

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Well that was chapter eight for ya. And please take note that in real life if your penis somehow does get seriously injured, then you should remember that in real life masturbating will not cause it to heal. Also, please feel free to give me some ideas for funny ass stuff you want to have Eddy do or happen to him. So yeah, you can expect chapter nine to come out before the end of the year at least, so till next time, see ya guys later._


	9. The Battle of Peach Creek

**Author's Note:** _Hey kids, here's chapter nine of my story "Ed, Edd n Eddy's Last Stand". Remember, I'm still accepting some ideas for some funny ass shit to pull on Eddy. Also, I've been having some people tell me that the characters (besides Eddy) are OOC, and all I have to say about that is that I really don't give a flying fucking shit. This fanfiction does take place two years after the original series after all_, _and last time I checked, people do kind of change over time. It also helps me work with the characters better when I bend them to may taste. So yeah, read, enjoy and please leave a review stating your opinons on this story of mine, alright?_

* * *

Chapter – 9

It had been two weeks since Eddy's attempt at flight (which was surprisingly a success), getting Double-D banned from Spore thanks to Eddy making inappropriate penis creatures, having his dick ran over by a train (which thankfully grew back) and getting his ass kicked by Ed and Sarah. But now today was Peach Creek Jr. High's last football game of the season, against none other then their rival town Lemon Brook. Two years ago the Cobblers suffered a humiliating defeat with a score of 0-62 (which was by far the worst lost that Peach Creek had in over ten years). And last year wasn't so much better either and Peach Creek still lost, with the score being 7-49. Though this year could be different now that Ed was trained by Kevin and that Eddy was trained by Travis over the summer to become better at football.

But now it was only fifteen minutes before the game would even start and yet Eddy and Travis were putting rats in Jimmy's locker. Travis, with his lock picking skills managed to open up Jimmy's locker with ease, which was how they were able to get into it.

"H0LY SHIT TRAVIZ !1!!1!1!1!!!1" Eddy said as he was stuffing rats into Jimmy's locker. "DIZ R G0NNA BE SUPER FUNNEH, G!1!1!11!"

"We gotta remember to thank that one Otto kid for giving us all these rats," Travis said as he was stuffing rats into Jimmy's locker.

"0 L0OK WAHT I F0UND!!1!1!1" Eddy exclaimed as he picked up Jimmy's wallet and took all of the money out of it for himself. "I H0P3 THAT DIZ DUN B3 CANADAIN MONIEZ THIZ TIM3!!1!1!11!!"

"Oh fuck Eddy; I think that Jimmy's coming over here!" Travis exclaimed as he dumped the remaining rats into Jimmy's locker and then shut it. He then grabbed Eddy's arm and dragged him down the hallway so that they wouldn't get caught. The two of them then peeked out from a corner of the hallway to see Jimmy's reaction while snickering about it.

"DIZ R GUNNA B3 FUNNAH3R THAN TUR+L3 CANZ0R!!1!1!!1" Eddy exclaimed, but then Travis put his hand over Eddy's mouth so that he wouldn't blow their cover.

Jimmy came walking to his locker while humming some sort of tune as he usually does. Once he got to his locker, he opened it up; releasing the rats that Eddy and Travis had put in it a minute ago. The rats landed all over Jimmy, making him scream in terror so loudly that anyone in a three mile radius could have heard it.

"LO0L0O0L0O0LO0L0O0L0OL0O0L0O00O0OLO0L0L11!1!1!1!1!1" Eddy exclaimed as he started laughing so hard that he was now rolling on the floor, laughing. "MAH ROFLC0PT3R GOEZ S0I S0I SOI SOI S0I SOI SOI S0I SOI S0I SOI!1!1!11!1!!!!1"

"Ha ha," Travis said as he was starting to laugh so hard that he couldn't breath. "Motherfucker, that was the funniest piece of shit that happened this week!"

"What the fuck are you two douche bags doing?" said Kevin as he came walking towards Eddy and Travis, which made the two of them immediately stop laughing. Right now Kevin was in his football gear, actually prepared for the game unlike Eddy and Travis.

"0H UM, M3 N TRAVIZ PUT SIHT L0ADZ OF RATZ IN JIMM3HZ L0CK0R!!1!1!1" Eddy admitted.

Kevin then looked down the hallway and seen Jimmy beneath a pile of rats. He rushed over to the pile and jumped in it. Kevin then came out of the pile with Jimmy, who had fainted now thanks to the shock of having hundreds of rats land on him.

"Jesus Christ, you two could've killed him!" Kevin exclaimed.

"Ah come on, me and Eddy were just goofing around, that's all," Travis replied.

"And hey, just why the hell are you two goofing off anyway?" Kevin asked them. "We have our last game of the season against our rivals Lemon Brook in like what, ten minutes. So I want you two down in the locker room right now while I take Jimmy to the nurse's office," Kevin told them as he carried Jimmy over to the nurse's office.

"0H GAYSH!T11!1!1!1!!!!!1" Eddy exclaimed. "I F0URG0TZ AB0U+ T3H GAM3!11!!!1!1 N0W CUM 0M TRAVZ, I HAV3Z A SC0R3 2 SE++L3 WITF TH0S3 FLAMMIN FUCKIN L3M0N BR0OK FAGG0ITZ!!1!!1!1!!1! Eddy exclaimed as he grabbed Travis by the arm and then ran as fast as he could to the locker room.

* * *

A couple of minutes later, Eddy and Travis were all suited up in their football gear in the locker room and then decided to take a seat on the benches with Ed, Rolf, Omar, Jonny and the rest of the team. Kevin then came in the locker room since he just took Jimmy to the nurse's office a couple of minutes ago.

"Hey Kevin, where's the coach?" Omar asked.

"Well Omar, the coach told me that his wife was having a kid today, so he couldn't show up," Kevin replied. "So now it looks like I'll be in charge since I am the captain."

"I SHO0D B3 CAPTIAN N N0T U FAGG0T!1!11!!!!1!" Eddy exclaimed.

"Be quiet douche bag," Kevin told him. "Anyway, since this is the last game of the season, I think that we need one last kick ass speech, so how about it guys?"

"Tell us comrade Kevin about this "kick ass" speech of yours, yes," Rolf said.

"We're all ears man," Jonny said.

"Alright then," Kevin said as he was going to give his last game speech to help motivate his team to hopefully make them win their final football game against Lemon Brook. "Now look, we're going against our rivals Lemon Brook for the last game of the season as we always have. Peach Creek Jr. High has never won a game against Lemon Brook in over twenty years. Now, could we leave a mark in history as being the eleven men who kicked Lemon Brook's ass? I sure hope we can boys, because personally I'm sick and fucking tired of losing to Lemon Brook and then having them rub it in our faces. So how about it guys, can we show those Lemon Brook douche bags a thing or two about football this time around?"

"**YES WE CAN!!!!!"** the entire team said.

"K3VIN, MAY I SAY SUMTHN BOUT DIZ??!?!?" Eddy asked.

Kevin looked over at the clock before giving an answer. "Sure, go on ahead, but remember, make it good and that we only have five minutes before the game starts."

"K TH3N K-DAWG," Eddy said. "ANYWH0, I JUS+ WANT 2 SAI DAT W3 MUST WIN, WHATEVER T3H C0$T N T3ACH L3M0N BR0OK A LESS0N THAT DILL N3V0R F0RGET!!1!11!1!!1" Eddy said as he took a seat.

"That was motivational," Travis commented.

"Yes, yes it was," Ed said.

"Anyway, come on guys; let's kick some ass on that field today!" Kevin exclaimed as he and the rest of the football team put their hands in the center. **"PEACH CREEK COBBLERS RULE!!!!!"**

**

* * *

**And so the Peach Creek Cobblers rushed out of the locker room and into the football field where they would face Lemon Brook for one truly kick ass game. The crowd and the cheerleaders in Peach Creek cheered for the Cobblers to win against Lemon Brook. The football team then went to the benches to wait for the enemy to come.

"Ed, I want you to remember everything that I've taught you about football," Kevin told his friend.

"Don't worry Kevin, I got it all down in my brain," Ed replied.

"WHAT BRA!N R3TARD!?!?!?!?' Eddy mocked as Ed was about to punch him in the face, but Kevin held him back so that Ed wouldn't cause a scene right before the game started.

"I'd like to slug that douche bag in the face too man, but remember, save all that rage and energy of yours for the game dude," Kevin told him. Marie Kanker then came down from the bleachers and kissed her boyfriend Travis on the cheek.

"Good luck Travis," Marie said.

"Aw thanks Marie," Travis replied. "Say, how about after this game's over that you and me go down to that Diary Queen down the street and get some shakes?"

"That sounds good Travis," Marie said as she gave another kiss to Travis. "I hope that you kick Lemon Brook's ass." Marie then walked back up the bleachers to sit with her sisters, May and Lee.

"U CAN AFF0RD 2 BY3 F0OD??!?!?!?!??" Eddy asked in shock since Travis was poor, but not that poor.

"At least I can get a girl unlike you McGee," Travis told him.

"M0+H3RFUCK3R, I CO0D G3T ALL T3H BI+CHZ IN SH00CL IF I F3LT LI3K I+!1!1!1!1!!11!!!!1" Eddy replied.

"I'd like to see you try kid," Travis said. Then Nazz came by walking over towards Kevin in her cheerleading uniform since she was the captain of the cheerleaders at Peach Creek Jr. High after all.

"Hey Kevin," Nazz said.

Kevin turned around to see that Nazz was there. "Oh hey Nazz," Kevin said as he and Nazz hugged. Yes, you see, just a couple of weeks ago, Kevin asked out Nazz and she said yes. This wasn't the first time that Kevin and Nazz had been going out with each other however. You see, for the past two years, Kevin and Nazz have been having some off and on relationships with each other. It was like one week the two were going out with each other and then the next week they would have broken up with each other for some reason or another. Though regardless, it could be easily said that the two were close with each other, even at the times when they weren't going out.

"I'm gonna make sure to give you and the team the best cheer ever Kevin!" Nazz exclaimed.

"Thanks Nazz, and I'll be sure to play my best, and the same goes for most of the team," Kevin replied.

"What do you mean most?" Nazz asked.

"Well Travis and Eddy usually don't take games very seriously, though for once I think that Eddy's actually pretty serious about this game," Kevin told her. "Ever since those guys from Lemon Brook stuffed lemons in his mouth and took him to their town for a couple of days, Eddy's been holding one mean grudge against them for two years."

"Wow," Nazz commented. "But still, let's just make tonight great," Nazz said as she and Kevin hugged each other before Nazz walked back to the other cheerleaders. Then from the bleachers came Paula, who wanted to talk with Ed a bit before the game started.

"Hi Ed," Paula said, getting Ed's attention.

"Why hello Paula," Ed responded.

"Ed, good luck with this game and I hope that you win," she said.

"Why thank you Paula," Ed replied. But suddenly, a huge bus came driving into the middle of the field and the people who came out of that bus were none other than the Lemon Brook Lumpers. There were about thirty-three of them and they were still as huge as usual, though one of their players was a fucking giant compared to the rest of them. He towered over the rest of Lemon Brook's big football players at around twenty feet tall, which was quite ridiculous.

"I'll talk to you later after the game's done," Paula said as she went back on the bleachers.

"**H0LY KAM0LEY, DAT MAN R HUGE$T!!1!!1111!111!!11!!!!!" **Eddy yelled.

"Someone's been taking to much growth hormone," Jonny said.

"Rolf hasn't seen giants that size since Rolf was back at Rolf's motherland," Rolf commented on the size Lemon Brook's incredibly huge football player.

"Damn, I heard that guy's their quarterback too," Omar commented.

"Alright guys, that guy might be a giant and their quarterback, but don't worry, we don't have anything to fear," Kevin reassured his players. "Remember, the bigger they are the harder they fall."

"But how shall we make the giant fall?" Ed asked.

"By going for his legs dipshit," Travis told him. Then suddenly a referee came in and blew his whistle, indicating that the players go out on the field to play a good game of football. Kevin and Lemon Brook's captain then went onto the center of the field as a referee came in with a coin in his hands.

"I call heads," the Lemon Brook captain said.

"Very well then," the ref said as he threw the coin in the air, which landed on tails, meaning that Peach Creek actually won the toss.

"Alright, I call offense now," Kevin said as he walked back to his side of the field and huddled up with the other men on his team. "Okay guys, this is it, our final game of the year. Now look, Ed, Omar, Rolf, Travis and the rest of you guys, I want you to cover for me cause I'm planning on getting us a touchdown so we can have a good start to this game, got that guys?"

"I LI3K T3H SOUD 0F DAT PLAN!!!11!1!!" Eddy commented.

"Good, now break!" Kevin exclaimed as he and the rest of the Cobblers clapped their hands and got into their positions. "Twenty-two, twenty-two, hike!" Kevin exclaimed as Rolf chucked him the ball. Kevin made it look like he was about to throw the ball before he just decided to run for it. Ed, Rolf and Omar then surrounded Kevin for protection against Lemon Brook's players. Kevin ran as fast as he could towards the goal while Ed, Rolf and Omar were spin tackling off Lemon Brook's players so that they wouldn't tackle Kevin. But then of course, Lemon Brook's giant came charging after Kevin.

"Omar, you and Rolf shall stall the mighty colossal," Rolf told him as they turned back to block off Lemon Brook's giant. It was only for a short while though that they could hold off the giant before he plowed Rolf and Omar down to the ground and then ran over them with his football cleats. As the giant came rushing towards Kevin, Eddy suddenly came out of nowhere and took off his pants, revealing his six foot long penis. Eddy then thought about Wonder Woman and then grew an eighteen foot long boner that the giant ran into. However, the giant suddenly tripped over Eddy's dick and collapsed on the ground, making a small earthquake that made Kevin fly towards the end zone, scoring the Cobblers their first touchdown.

The crowd, cheerleaders and the rest of the football cheered for the fact that Kevin scored the first touchdown of the game and then Eddy made his dick shrink bag to its normal six foot size and then put it away in his pants. And then soon enough, there was a kickoff and Kevin scored Peach Creek another point, making the score now 7-0, which was good since the game was looking like it was in Peach Creek's favor.

* * *

Later on in the third quarter of the game, Peach Creek was trying to score another touchdown now that the score was 7-14, which was no good. So Kevin huddled up the team so he could tell them is plan.

"Alright guys," Kevin said. "Jonny, I want you scoring us a touchdown this time, so the rest of you should cover him from these Lemon Brook douche bags."

"H3Y K3VIN!!1!!111!1!!" said Eddy. "MAY I G3+ IN A G0OD ID3A?!?!??!?!?!?"

"What do you mean by "good idea" Eddy?" Kevin asked him.

"IZ HAV3 A PLAN 2 MAK3 TH3M L3M0N BRO0K S0H 0F A BI+CH3Z G3+ A +W3N+Y YRAD P3NATY!!!1!1!1!1!" Eddy told Kevin.

"And how the hell do you plan on doing that?" Kevin asked Eddy.

"U SHALL C K3VIN, U SHAL C!1!1!1!11!!!!" Eddy told Kevin as the referee blew his whistle, making the Cobblers get out of their huddle and into their positions. The guy who Eddy was against though was a big African-American man with a mean looking face, though this didn't scare Eddy at all, for as it was actually apart of his plan. "U R A V3RY SUP3R DUP3R S3XY N3GR0!1!1!!1!!11!!," Eddy told the Lemon Brook player.

"What the fuck did you say?" the African-American said as he sacked Eddy in the gut, though a ref noticed this and blew his whistle.

"Lemon Brook gets a twenty yard penalty for swearing and aggravated assault," the ref said, which forced the Lemon Brook players to move back twenty yards. Travis gave Eddy two thumbs up while the Lemon Brook players all flipped off Eddy as he stuck his tongue out at them in mockery.

"_Not a half bad plan there douche bag, not a half bad plan," _Kevin thought to himself, as he and the rest of the Cobblers moved forward by twenty yards. Then the referee blew his whistle, indicating that new play would start. "Forty-four, forty-four, hike!" Kevin yelled as Rolf chucked him the ball. Kevin then tossed the ball to Jonny, who caught it and then started running towards the end zone for a touchdown.

As Jonny was running, he jumped over most of the Lemon Brook players using some hops, front-flips and back-flips to get over them. Jonny had always had a knack for jumping ever since he was seven, so he was obviously very good at it. But anyway, Jonny ended up getting pretty dang close to the end zone, but then that one giant player of Lemon Brook's stood right in his way.

"**ED SHALL SMASH THAT BEHEMOTH!!!" **Ed yelled as he threw himself into the giant, knocking the giant down. Jonny then hopped over the giant's body and scored himself a touchdown, making the score now 13-14. The crowd, cheerleaders and the rest of the team cheered for Jonny as he walked over to Ed and pulled him up. The two then gave each other high-fives and then later got into their positions again for the kickoff, which was a success and had now made the score a tie with it now being 14-14.

* * *

Soon enough it was the fourth and final quarter of the game, with the score still being a tie. The Cobblers were all huddled up, ready for their next and last play. "Alright men," Kevin said. "Now look, if we want this game to be a win and not some tie, then listen up to my plan. Honestly, it's really a trump card, you know, like some last resort plan. But anyway, Eddy, I want you to score the last touchdown of the game in order to pull this off."

"+HA+ S0UD SUP3R K3WL, K-D0WG!!!111!11!!1" Eddy exclaimed.

"Listen to me so that we can get this right," Kevin told him. "So Eddy, I'm gonna throw you the ball and then I just want you to make a run for it to the end zone, which I think that you can do since you are the fastest player on our team, got it?"

"I L3IK A L33T PLAN LIEK +HA+ K3VIN!!!!1!!1!!!11" Eddy said as the ref blew his whistle which made all of the Cobblers get into their positions.

"Seventy-seven, seventy-seven, hike!" Kevin exclaimed as Rolf chucked him the ball and then Kevin pretended to throw the ball to Jonny, but then threw it at Eddy, which he caught. Eddy ran as fast as he could towards the end zone and was using all of the energy he had in his small fat body. However, there was one problem with this, which Kevin was going to point out for him. **"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY EDDY!!!!!" **Kevin yelled as Eddy suddenly halted to a stop before almost touching the Cobbler's own end zone.

Eddy then made himself take a quick turn around as he was about to run one hundred yards towards Lemon Brook's end zone, which he even knew was going to be no easy task. Travis then jogged right next to him. "Man you fucking retard, you're so lucky that I'm going to block for you," Travis told him as the two started running towards Lemon Brook's end zone. While Travis was spin tackling off the Lemon Brook players coming after Eddy, Eddy himself wasn't running all that fast since he had just used a majority of his energy to run all the way towards the Cobbler's own end zone like the moron he was. So Ed decided to give him some motivation.

"**LOOK OUT EDDY, THE COVENANT IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!!"** Ed yelled at Eddy.

"0H N0EZ, N0+ T3H C0V3NAN+!1!!1!1!11" Eddy exclaimed as he started so fast that he had left Travis in the dust, which had Travis getting tackled by one of the Lumpers. "TIM3 2 DI3 ALL U BRU+3Z, L33+Z, HUNT3RZ N GRUN+Z!1!!!!!111!11" Eddy said as he shoulder tackled all of the Lemon Brook players in front of him, knocking them out of his way. As he was only five yards away from the end zone, none other than Lemon Brook's giant stood right in front of his way. Eddy froze up in terror at having the colossal stand right before him.

Lucky for him though, Kevin ran towards the giant and tackled him down to the ground so that he wasn't in Eddy's way anymore. "Now's your chance douche," Kevin told him as Eddy walked towards the end zone, scoring a touchdown for the Cobblers and ending the game with a score of 20-14.

* * *

The crowd, cheerleaders and the Cobbler's themselves cheered in victory as the song "We Are The Champions" by Queen started playing. It was almost as if the people of Peach Creek thought that they had won a big war, since people were seen crying in joy, hugging, kissing and screaming in celebration. After all, it had been the first time in over twenty years that Peach Creek had actually won a game against their rivals Lemon Brook.

In the middle of all this celebration, Ed and Paula walked over to each other. "Congratulations on winning Ed," she said.

"I feel really happy for some reason," Ed replied. Eddy then walked up towards the two and slammed their heads against each other, making them accidentally kiss each other for the first time.

"LOO0L0OL0O0L0OL0LLO0L0O0LO0L0O0L!1!!!1!11!!1!1!1!" Eddy exclaimed as he was rolling on the field, laughing. "H0W WAS +HA+ 4 A KIZZ U BI+CH3Z!?!?!??!?!?!?"

Now normally Ed would have punched Eddy so hard in the face that it would have knocked him out, but for some reason, Ed didn't feel like doing that this time. Instead, he and Paula looked at each other awkwardly, but then decided to walk together down to the cul-de-sac. Eddy had then noticed that Travis was making out with Marie right next to him, so Eddy poked Travis on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Yeah, what is it, fuckface?" Travis asked.

"H3Y +RAVIZ, Y RNT D3Y H0LD3N HANDZ?!?!?!??!?!?!?" Eddy asked his friend as he pointed at Ed and Paula. But instead of getting an answer, Travis and Marie just gave him a "what the fuck do you think" look and then the two walked away to Diary Queen. Confused and answerless, Eddy then decided to just go home. So he walked over to the bike racks and got on his bike, only to be tackled down by Jonny.

"See you later fat ass!" Jonny exclaimed as he rode off to downtown on Eddy's bike. Omar, who was now on his bike fallowed Jonny downtown.

"N!GGA $T0L3 MAH BIK3!!1!1!!1!!11!!111!" Eddy exclaimed as he got back up, but once he did, Eddy noticed that he was surrounded by the Lemon Brook football team that he and the rest of Cobblers just defeated minutes ago.

"Yeah, that's the guy who got us the twenty yard plenty!" exclaimed one of the Lumpers.

"He tripped me with his dick," the giant Lemon Brook player commented.

"I say that we kick this little fucker's ass!" exclaimed one of the Lumpers as they started to walk closer to Eddy.

In response to this, Eddy pulled out a shining blue baseball bat and a home-made toy rocket launcher out of his pockets via hammerspace. "BR!N I+ 0N C0V3NAN+, I G0T MAH EN3RGY SW0RD N R0CK3+ LAUNCH3R ON M3, M0+H3RFUCKARZ!1!1!11!!11!!!" Eddy exclaimed as he got ready to fight off the Lumpers in a fight that he would never forget, or win either.

* * *

But meanwhile in the downtown part of Peach Creek, Jonny had just got off the bike that he stole from Eddy. Omar, who had fallowed him downtown got off his bike as well and then walked up to Jonny.

"You ready for this Omar?" Jonny asked.

"You know it Jonny," Omar replied as the two walked down a black ally. It was at the end of the black ally that they met the members of Paralyzer, Bubba, Red, Gannon and all the other members as well.

"Shit man, where the hell have you been?" asked Bubba.

"I was playing some football," Jonny replied.

"Did you win?" asked Gannon.

"Hell yeah man!" exclaimed Jonny.

"Hey, why the fuck do you smell like dick and who the hell is that sand nigger?" asked Red.

"Well I did steal Eddy's bike to get here," Jonny told him. "And that's Omar; I just decided to bring him here today."

"Holy shit nigga, you are retarded!" exclaimed Red. "Being friends with a gay little Muslim and robbing that fuckface Eddy, good God you are the most pathetic nigga that I've ever meet. Hell you don't even deserve to be called nigga."

And that's when Jonny grabbed Red's head and started smashing it against a brick wall until he heard his skull crack open, at which that point Jonny threw Red to the ground and then nut stomped him, knocking Red out cold.

The rest of the members of Paralyzer had shocked expressions on their faces after what Jonny did to Red. "Holy shit Jonny, Red's always been an asshole, but you didn't have to act like a retard and beat him up for it," Bubba told him.

"**YES I DID!!!!!"** Jonny yelled in rage as he pulled Plank out from the back of his shirt and then whacked Bubba in the head with him. Omar then rushed over the Gannon, grabbed him by the neck and chucked him at the other members of Paralyzer. Yes kids, Jonny and Omar were gonna take on the Paralyzers all on their own in order to teach them a lesson that they would never forget.

Jonny kept on smacking Bubba in the head with Plank until Bubba managed to push him down. Bubba then jumped right on top of Jonny, which hurt a lot considering that Bubba weighed over three hundred pounds and was crushing a guy who was one-third his weight. And of course, Jonny couldn't muster enough strength to push Bubba off him, so it seemed like Jonny was in quite the shit pickle. That was though until something it Bubba in the back of the head, knocking him out cold.

"Boy, thanks for saving me from that wild Snorlax buddy!" Jonny exclaimed.

"Yo nigga, it was the least I could do for my favorite nigga of all time," said none other than Plank himself. Yes kids, Plank was finally talking to Jonny for the first time in what seemed like forever. And of course, the only person who could understand what Plank was saying is Jonny as usual.

Jonny then managed to crawl his way out of Bubba's unconscious body as he picked up Plank. "Come on Plank, let's fuck up these fucking thugs," Jonny said to his best friend.

"I had the same thing in mind too Jonny," Plank replied as Jonny pulled out a staff out of his back pocket using hammerspace of course.

And so Jonny and Plank rushed over into the crowd of Paralyzers as Jonny started swinging his staff everywhere, hitting plenty of Paralyzers in the back of their heads and knocking them out. But of course Omar was also doing his part of the job too, as he had already knocked out Gannon and five other members of Paralyzer.

* * *

The fight lasted for at least ten minutes before Jonny, Plank and Omar emerged victorious from the pile of knocked out Paralyzers. Jonny, Plank and Omar obviously looked beat up, and they were taking in deep breaths as a result.

"So, is that all of them?" Omar asked.

"Oh hell no," Jonny answered. "We still have Thunder to deal with."

"You said my name?" asked none other than the leader of Paralyzer himself, Thunder, a fifteen foot tall African-American teenager who wore clothes with lighting bolts on them.

"Yeah he did you big fat motherfucker," said Plank.

"Jonny, why the hell did you do this shit man?" Thunder asked. "Cause you know the rules, if you mess with one Paralyzer then you mess with them all."

"But you're the only one left that we haven't knocked out dipshit," Omar told him.

"And so I guess that means I'm the one who's gonna kill you two bitches," Thunder said as he pulled out an electric shock baton. "Now it's time to die Jonny, you damn trader!"

Thunder charged at Jonny, Plank and Omar, but they did the same and were going to charge him. Once they got close to each other, Omar jumped in the air and leeched himself onto Thunder's head and brought him to the ground. Jonny took the time to whack at Thunder with Plank, but then Thunder hit Jonny in the head with his electric shock baton, knocking him away.

Omar started ax-hammering Thunder's head, which was effective for awhile until Thunder managed to hit him with his electric shock baton, knocking Omar off him. Thunder then managed to get himself back up, but then Jonny jumped in the air and kicked him in the chest, knocking Thunder down again. Omar then got back up and slammed his body on Thunder's head and started rapidly punching him in the eyes. However, just as Thunder was about to hit Omar with his electric shock baton again, Jonny managed to pull it out of his hands.

"Now it's your turn to see just how much this shit hurt," Jonny said as Omar got off of Thunder so that he wouldn't get electrocuted from the shock. So then Jonny started shocking Thunder with the electric shock baton, which was making Thunder yell in agony and making steam come out of his body. It was only a matter of minutes before Thunder was close to being knocked out.

"You think you're the real deal huh, taking out a gang you little pussy?" Thunder asked Jonny while still being electrocuted by him. "Please, the Paralyzers are nothing compared to most other gangs around here, so good luck with trying of take them all out nigga, cause you'll need it." And after he had said that sentence, Thunder just couldn't take the pain anymore and was now unconscious.

"We did it," Omar said. "We actually took out a gang all by ourselves!"

"Now we're the bomb bitches!" Plank exclaimed

"But Thunder was right," Jonny told him. "The Paralyzers are nothing now compared to what we'll have to go against later on. Come on, let's call it a day and just go back to the cul-de-sac and play some basketball or something." And so Jonny, Plank and Omar walked out of the black ally and started walking home to the cul-de-sac, knowing that Peach Creek was only a little bit safer now, but that there were still plenty of more gangs that they would have to face off against in the future.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _That was chapter nine for you, and I hope that you've enjoyed it. And yes, Ed & Paula are a couple now, the same goes for Kevin & Nazz as well in this story. Though I'm still going to focus more on action and humor than romance, because I'm an action and humor kind of guy. So yeah, you can probably expect chapter ten to come out sometime towards the end of summer or possibly fall. Well anyway, until next time around, see ya!_


End file.
